Wrecked
by A. K. Hunter
Summary: She's a college freshman; he's a married detective. He's stopped believing in a bright future, and she's about to make the greatest mistake of her life. When an unlikely friendship is created and then shattered, Kevin and Alexis must face ugly truths, unexpected consequences, and hope that nothing is too broken to fix.
1. One

Wrecked

by

A.K. Hunter

Part One

* * *

Huddled on her knees, her fingers wrapped around the bars of her cage, Alexis was losing hope.

It had been five days, by her semi-conscious count, since she and her friend Sara had been kidnapped and brought to Paris. She'd been in the cage for at least two days, alone save for the ever-present armed guard. She'd long since given up speaking to him. It was more productive to talk to a stone.

A small group of men passed by, speaking a language she didn't understand.

"Hey!" she called to them. "Will someone please tell me what's going on?"

The group approached her, one man standing out among the rest. He stepped forward, and Alexis fought the urge to cower.

"What are you going to do to me?" she asked. She had to know. She had to remind them that she was a person, because appealing to their humanity—assuming they had any—was her best chance at surviving.

The man grinned, and a chill ran down her spine. He reached out, his fingers wrapping around her neck, and pulled her toward him. Her face slammed painfully against the metal, and he snarled at her in that foreign tongue.

She clawed at his grip, at those thick fingers digging into the flesh of her throat, and he released her, laughing at the way she coughed and the tears that slipped down her bruised cheek. Seconds later, she was alone again, trying not to let the panic control her. She needed to stop crying; she couldn't spare the water.

Ever since her escape attempt, her captors had given up the pretense of treating her humanely. She hadn't seen food or water since they'd thrown her in the cage. She didn't have much time left.

Alexis couldn't stop thinking about that phone call to her dad. She should have said goodbye. She should have thanked him for being an amazing father. She should have-

A wave of dizziness passed over her, and she leaned against the bars, all but collapsing onto the filthy cement floor of her cage. She let her eyes shut, breathing in and out until the world stopped spinning around her. Regret filled the space between breaths, replacing her fear and wrapping around her like an old friend.

The truth was, she should have done a lot of things differently. A very specific sequence of events had brought her to that cage in Paris, events that she had played a crucial role in, mistakes that left her filled with shame and despair.

A dry sob tore through her chest. This was it. She was going to die, alone, like an animal. She'd never see her family again. All of her hopes and dreams for the future were slipping away with each beat of her terminal heart.

A warm pair of blue eyes appeared in her mind, and Alexis wrapped her arms around herself. A few, final tears slipped from her eyes.

She would never get to tell him she loved him.

* * *

Two Months Earlier...

Kevin Ryan sat on the edge of Beckett's desk, trying to force his brain to unravel the mystery on the murder board in front of him. Beckett, Castle, and Javi had gone home a while before, but Kevin couldn't bring himself to follow suit.

He sighed and stretched, his spine popping in the most satisfying way. He needed to go home. Jenny was probably wondering where he was. Of course, Kevin knew exactly what was waiting for him between the walls of their apartment, and staring at the murder board was a much better alternative.

"Detective Ryan?"

He looked to the side, his neck aching at the sudden movement. A pretty redhead stood a few feet away, her hands in the pocket of her coat, a small smile on her face.

"Hey, Alexis."

"What are you doing here so late?" she asked. She approached the murder board, tugging her cherry-red scarf loose.

"Working the case," he said, glancing at the information scattered in front of them: confidential names and grisly murder photos. Castle's nineteen-year-old daughter shouldn't be exposed to things like that.

"Have you cracked it yet?" The girl didn't seem bothered by the photos in front of her. On the contrary, she seemed interested in the secrets the information held.

"Uh, not yet," he admitted, ignoring the familiar guilt. If he was going to be staying late, shouldn't he at least make progress on the case? "What are you doing here? You know Castle's gone home, right?"

"I actually stopped by to see Detective Beckett." She glanced at the tidy, unoccupied desk Kevin was perched on. "Is she gone too?"

"Afraid so."

"Oh."

"Can I help you with something?" he asked, his attention caught by the disappointed crease between her eyebrows and the slight downturn of her mouth.

She bit her lip, "I'll just come back another time. I don't want to interrupt."

"I've been staring at this board forever. I could use a break," he assured her. "You want some coffee?" He gestured to the break room.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. You'd be doing me a favor."

She smiled. "Alright."

He followed the redhead into the break room and busied himself with making coffee for both of them.

"Thanks," she said as he set the cup in front of her. She placed her scarf on the table.

"So what's up?"

"I've been accepted to a study abroad program in Costa Rica this summer."

He grinned at her. "Alexis, that's great."

She frowned and he quickly backtracked. "Is it not great?"

"I've also been offered a summer internship with the District Attorney's office."

He didn't understand. They both sounded like amazing opportunities. "And you can't choose between them?"

"I know it's silly," she said, blushing as she stared down at her coffee cup, "but I don't know what to do. I'm at a crossroad that's going to set the foundation for the rest of my life, and I just can't choose." She glanced up at him. "When did you know you wanted to be a detective?"

He took a sip of coffee, considering her question. He felt like he'd been a cop forever. It was difficult to imagine a time when he'd been anything different. "My sophomore year of college." Just a year older than Alexis was now, he realized.

"And that was when you figured everything out?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"You've created a great life. You have a job you love, someone who cares about you, close friends who would do anything for you. That's what I want—to have my life all figured out."

Kevin couldn't stop the laughter that bubbled up through his chest. If she only knew how wrong she was.

"Are you laughing at me?"

He shook his head, his stomach twisting as he fought to compose himself.

"Forget it," she muttered, standing up.

"Wait." Kevin grabbed her hand. "I'm sorry. I wasn't laughing at you."

She didn't move, still staring at him with distrust. God, he must have really screwed things up if one of the nicest people in the world was giving him that kind of look.

"Don't leave. Please."

Alexis sighed and slumped back down in her seat. "Can I have my hand back?"

He relinquished her hand with a pained smile. "I'm sorry," he repeated. "You've got it all wrong. I don't have things figured out."

"What do you mean?"

"I do love my job, and I have great friends, but my life is far from figured out. In fact, it's kind of a mess."

She frowned, noting his one omission to her previous statement. "Are things okay with Jenny?" Kevin had to hand it to her, the girl was good at reading between the lines.

Should he tell her? He'd barely admitted the truth to himself.

"Kevin?"

"No. Things aren't okay with Jenny."

"What's wrong? Are you two… you're not getting a divorce, are you?"

Kevin shook his head. "No, it's nothing like that." He tried to ignore the cruel voice in his head that said a divorce might not be far away. "It's just difficult. You go in thinking that there can be a compromise for everything, but that's not actually the case. Sometimes you have to give up what you want so your spouse is happy."

"That's pretty bleak."

He looked down at his coffee. "That's just the way it works."

A gentle pressure rested against the back of his hand, and he looked up. She gently squeezed his hand, stroking her thumb across his knuckles once before letting go. "What are you giving up?"

His eyes widened at her implicit understanding. Alexis was so young; it was easy to forget how she understood things so intuitively, as if she was much older and more experienced.

"Jenny wants kids," he said. "She's always wanted a big family. And she wants to get started on that family now."

"And you don't want kids?"

He shook his head. "It's not that. I just… I'm not ready to give up my life, you know? Part of this kids things is that she wants me to find a new job, a safer one that pays better. She wants me to give up the best parts of my life so we can create this future together."

Alexis frowned. "Did you two not talk about this before you got married?"

"We did," he said. And they had, sort of. They'd spoken about the future in vague, hopeful terms. He'd liked the picture they'd painted well enough at the time, but putting it into action was a different matter altogether. "I just thought we'd have more time together, just the two of us, before she wanted to change everything."

"And do you still want that future?"

Kevin bit his lip, his silence answering her question. What kind of man makes promises and then decides he doesn't want to keep them?

"You need to tell her."

"I know," he sighed, then shook his head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to dump all of this on you. I just wanted you to understand that nobody has it all figured out. You just take it a day at a time and make it up as you go along."

She nodded. "That's good to know, I guess."

"Besides," he added with a small smile, "you're going to do great things. Years from now I'll be telling everyone how I knew Alexis Castle back when she was a freshman at Columbia."

She laughed, and the sound sent a warm ripple down his spine. "And what did this famous girl decide to do?" she asked.

He squeezed her hand. "She did what made her happy."

"Thanks, Kevin."

"I'd better get back to work," he said, pushing his chair back.

She nodded."Me too."

He returned to his perch in front of the murder board and Alexis followed behind. Goosebumps broke out on his skin when her fingers wrapped around his arm.

"Kevin?"

"Yeah?"

"Sacrifice isn't worth it if it makes you this unhappy," she said. "You should talk to Jenny about it. I bet you two can work it out."

"Jenny puts up with a lot to be with me," he said. "How can I deny her the one thing she wants?"

"You deserve to be happy just as much as she does."

He couldn't quite agree with the redhead about that so easily. Honestly, it seemed selfish to be having that conversation with Alexis when he knew Jenny was likely waiting for him to come home. Kevin had always been taught the importance of family, of honoring the commitments he made to people. How was this any different?

"Kevin."

"What?"

"Talk to her. Tell her how you feel, and be honest. What's the worst that can happen?"

He frowned at her question, and color rose in her face. "I'm sorry," she said. "That came out wrong."

A small smile tugged at his lips. He knew what she was getting at. It was a catch-22: Was being alone really worse than being with someone who wouldn't let you be yourself? "I don't know why you asked for advice. You seem to have things all figured out."

She smiled, and his stomach flip-flopped in response. Alexis pulled her hand away from his arm, and, almost against his will, his fingers wrapped around her wrist and entwined with hers.

Her bright blue eyes met his, her smile faltering just a little bit. What did she see in his face? The blush deepened, spreading down her neck. There was something intoxicating about that color on her skin.

"I should go," she whispered.

He shook himself and let her go. "Yeah, me too. I'm... Thanks for..." he sighed, "not judging."

"Good luck, Kevin."

"You too."

Alexis walked to the elevator, and Kevin found himself missing her presence before the doors even closed. For the first time since Jenny had started talking about having kids, he felt like a halfway decent human being.

His phone rang, and a strange mix of guilt and anxiety washed over him.

"Hey baby," Kevin said. "Sorry, I'm still at work."

After a lengthy conversation about how the precinct kept him too late, Kevin was finally allowed to hang up the phone. He sighed and took his keys out of his desk, each step closer to home laying a heavy weight across his shoulders.

As he passed the break room, a flash of color caught his eye. Alexis had left her scarf. He picked it up, rubbing the soft material between his fingertips. The scent of cherry blossoms wrapped around him.

For a few precious moments, his anxious mind was quiet, imagining a pair of blue eyes and an infectious smile.

The text tone shattered his peace.

"Please pick up some milk on your way home? Love you." -J

Kevin pocketed his phone, weighing the scrap of cloth in his hand. He stuffed the scarf in his coat pocket and walked to the elevator.

It was time to be honest with Jenny.

* * *

Author's Note: This delightful side project is dedicated to the amazing JJS4. Stay tuned for the next update, and please please please review!

Did you like this chapter? Check out my other Rylexis stories: _In My Veins _and _Irish Magic_.


	2. Two

Wrecked

by:

A.K. Hunter

Part Two

* * *

Alexis was just falling asleep when someone started pounding at her front door. Who the hell?

"Alexis!" A voice called through the door, pounding. It was Kevin.

She tugged open the door. "What's the-"

He pushed past her, storming into her apartment.

"Come on in," she muttered. What was he doing at her apartment at this hour? In fact, what was he doing there at all? It had been a couple days since she'd seen him at the precinct, and truth be told, she didn't expect to see him one-on-one anytime soon. She had wondered how things had ended up with Jenny, if he'd been honest with his wife, but she hadn't heard anything from the detective. Perhaps no news didn't necessarily mean good news.

As soon as the door was locked, he rounded on her. "I hope you're happy."

"Excuse me?"

"I told Jenny. I told her everything."

Alexis took in his broken expression. Oh. So it hadn't gone so well then. "Do you want to sit down?"

"She called me a liar. She said that she won't wait to have a baby, and if I can't give her what she wants then she's going to find someone who will."

"What? She can't give you more time?"

He shook his head. "She's thirty-two. She said she doesn't have time to wait around for me to figure out what I want."

Wow. There wasn't really a way around that one. Alexis hadn't realized that Jenny was so determined or that her need for a baby was so urgent. Jenny and Kevin had only been married for about a year; she'd assumed that there would be more time for them.

"I-I'm sorry, Kevin. I'm so sorry."

Her apology seemed to deflate whatever anger had brought him to her door. He collapsed onto the couch, resting his head in his hands. "No, I'm sorry," he said. "It's not your fault. I shouldn't have come here, pounding on your door like that." He looked at her, taking in her tousled hair and pajamas for the first time since he'd crossed the threshold into her apartment. "Did I wake you?"

She shook her head, sitting next to him. He had bigger things to worry about than her sleep cycle. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

"Are you– I mean, do you think she'll want a divorce?"

"If I don't go along with this, then yes. That's exactly what will happen."

Alexis' eyes widened. "Wait. You're actually considering having a baby with her after all?"

"She's my wife. I made a promise to love and support her."

"And didn't she promise to love and support you back? Don't you get to be happy, too?"

He shook his head again. "Breaking Jenny's heart won't make me happy."

"Then what will?" she demanded. "God, this is a baby we're talking about. A baby you don't want. How can you just go along with this?"

He shrugged. "It's what I'm supposed to do. I'm sure I'll love the baby; I'll learn to be happy with it."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Alexis had been shocked that Kevin opened up to her the first time, and she was still surprised to be the person he chose to confide in. It seemed like he really needed a confidante; she hadn't realized how much pressure he put on himself to be a good husband, to provide for his wife and make her happy. It broke Alexis' heart that he was willing to do so much, to consent to so many things he didn't want, in order to fulfill that role.

"Don't do it," she said quietly. "This isn't something you can just compromise on. You'd be giving up living the life you want. Don't do it."

Kevin looked up at her in surprise. She felt a little surprised at herself as well. Alexis had tried to be neutral, she didn't want to get in the middle of the Ryans' marriage troubles, but she just couldn't sit by and watch him give up everything he wanted.

"You're nineteen," he said. "What do you know about marriage and compromise?"

"I know it's better for you and Jenny to get a divorce than to bring a human life into the world for all the wrong reasons."

He stood up, heading to the door. "I don't have to listen to this."

Alexis stood in his way. "What do you really want, Kevin?"

"Get out of my way."

She stood her ground, pushing him back when he got too close. "What do you want?"

"Alexis, stop-"

"Tell me what you want!"

"I don't know!"

He sighed, too exhausted to be angry anymore. "I don't know," he repeated softly. "I can't do this anymore: the baby, the constant pressure to find a new job. I didn't sign up for this, but how am I supposed to tell her to give up everything she wants? How am I supposed to walk away from her? From our life together? Doesn't that make me just as selfish?"

Alexis shook her head. "There's nothing selfish about wanting to be happy. You sacrifice, willingly, so other people can be safe and at peace. So you're not ready for kids? So what. That doesn't make you a bad person. It doesn't make you selfish."

"What does it make me?"

"A good man," she said softly, "who deserves a happy, fulfilling life without fear or regret. And if Jenny can't see that then she doesn't deserve you."

Kevin nodded and looked down. He bit his lip, his mind clearly miles away. Finally, his gaze focused on her once more. "Thank you."

Alexis smiled. "You're welcome."

The barest hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he stared at her and heat rose in her face, the blush spreading down her neck. "You know," he said as he reached into the pocket of his coat, "I actually came to return this." He held out her scarf, which had been neatly folded. "You left it at the precinct."

"I've been looking everywhere for this," she smiled. Her fingers brushed against his as she took the scarf back, and electricity ran up her arm from the contact. She glanced up at him, her blush deepening at the amused look on his face. She cleared her throat. "Thanks."

He nodded. "I'd better go."

"You're going back home?"

"Um… no," he said. "I don't think Jenny's going to let me back in the apartment tonight."

"Where will you go?"

He shrugged. "Probably a hotel. I'll figure it out."

"You can stay here." The words left her mouth before she was fully cognizant of them. "Um… That is, you can sleep on my couch." She immediately cringed at the unnecessary clarification.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"It's just– It's weird, isn't it? Me spending the night at Castle's daughter's apartment."

Her eyebrows rose at his explanation. If there was one thing Alexis hated, it was being identified as Richard Castle's daughter. She was her own person, and she wasn't a little girl anymore. "Kevin," she said, "You know I'm an adult, right?"

Smart detective that he was, Kevin picked up on the subtle threat in her tone. "Yes," he said carefully. "I know you're an adult."

"And we're friends, right?"

"I guess so?"

"Good," she said cheerfully. "Because friends don't let friends go to a hotel when they're going through a hard time. You might as well make yourself comfortable." She left him standing in her living room as she searched for a couple extra blankets. She took a pillow from off her bed.

When she returned to the living room, he was sitting on her couch, untying his shoes. His jacket and tie were draped over the back of the couch. "You don't have to put me up for the night," he said as she deposited the bedclothes next to him. "I'm really fine."

She took in his appearance: the circles that hugged his bloodshot eyes, the uncharacteristic slouch of his shoulders, the wrinkles in his clothes. He looked beaten down, exhausted. "I know you are," she lied, "but I'd feel better if you stayed." She would let him pretend if it meant he actually got some rest. He clearly needed it. "Unopened toothbrushes are in the bathroom cupboard, and you can help yourself to anything in the fridge."

He nodded, distractedly running his hands through his hair.

"Are you alright?" Alexis asked.

"I just never expected my night to end like this, my marriage in shambles, sleeping on your couch." He laughed bitterly. "Life's a bitch, isn't it?"

For a moment, she just watched the pain play across his face, unsure how to offer the comfort he desperately needed. Then she sat next to him and wrapped an arm around him, resting her head on his shoulder. She had expected him to shy away from the gesture—he seemed to be on guard around her—but instead he leaned into her.

He exhaled raggedly, and Alexis shifted so both of her arms were wrapped around him. She hugged him tightly, running her hands up and down his back. "I know it hurts right now," she whispered, "but it will get better."

She felt him nod against her neck, and a few drops of moisture landed on her skin. His arms tightened around her as his chest heaved with emotion. "It's okay. You're going to be okay," she said. "I promise."

They stayed like that for a while, Alexis whispering to him, holding him as he quietly fell apart. Once his breathing had leveled out, she pulled back and gently wiped the last few tears from his face. "Do you feel better?"

His voice was hoarse, his expression devastated. "Not really."

She forced a smile, despite the fact that her heart was breaking for him. Nobody deserved to carry around that much pain. "What can I do?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want me to leave you alone so you can sleep?"

He shook his head, and she frowned. He needed rest. A good night's sleep was the only thing that would help him at this point. She glanced around them, her mind running through logistics. She set the pillow on the end of the couch and pushed him toward it. "Lie down. I'll be right back."

He complied, and she moved around her apartment, switching off the lights and turning down the thermostat. She returned to the couch. She couldn't see Kevin in the darkness, but she felt his fingertips brush against her legs. "Alexis?"

She knew what he wanted, and she knew he would never ask for it. Especially not from her. Kevin didn't want to be alone, so she would make sure he wasn't. Alexis took a deep breath to calm herself, and then lay next to him on the couch, pulling a blanket over the both of them. Carefully, slowly, she wrapped her arms around him, letting his head rest in the crook of her shoulder as her own head pressed against the pillow.

His arms tightened around her waist and he inhaled deeply. "Thank you," he whispered brokenly.

She stroked his hair until his breathing evened out, sure that she'd spend the night awake. There was no way she could sleep, not with his body pressed against hers, not when her heart raced at the sensation of his warm breath across her collarbone and when the light scent of his cologne invaded her nose.

Yet, it didn't even occur to Alexis to be surprised when her eyes grew heavy and she slipped into dreams, lulled to sleep by the steady breathing of the man slumbering next to her.

* * *

Kevin dreamed every night. Sometimes the dreams were frightening, the worst-case scenarios that he faced every single day at work. Sometimes the dreams were happy, the kind he never wanted to wake up from. Other times his dreams were just bizarre, like that one time he'd dreamed that Beckett was a writer and Castle was a homicide detective.

Lately, his dreams had been filled with anxiety. He'd spend the night chasing after something that always evaded him, or he would belatedly find out that Jenny was pregnant and he'd missed the birth of their baby. He woke up from those dreams more exhausted than when he'd fallen asleep the night before.

When Kevin opened his eyes to the early-morning light streaming in through the windows, feeling more rested than he'd been in months, he realized that he'd come out of a dreamless sleep. No real-world anxieties had invaded his brain during the night.

And then he realized that he wasn't alone. A soft, warm weight pressed against his torso, smelling vaguely of cherry blossoms. Endless strands of red hair were spread out across his chest, and one long, bare leg was draped over his hip. What the...

And then Kevin remembered, and his body went rigid as he realized exactly who was lying next to him. Castle was going to kill him.

Alexis burrowed her face into the crook of his neck, pressing her body closer to his. He fought back a groan. Between the sensation of her mouth pressed against his skin and the way her hips shifted every time she moved, his body was betraying him in the most mortifying way. His hands slid down her back to her hips in an attempt to hold her still, and electricity sparked in his blood when his fingertips met bare skin. Her shirt had ridden up a few inches during the night.

He took a deep breath, his mind racing to find a way out of the increasingly uncomfortable situation. What had he even been thinking? Alexis was so young, so kind. Seeking comfort in her arms wasn't right. She deserved better than to have him dump all of his troubles on her, and yet he hadn't even given it a second thought when he'd gotten her address from Beckett. His life was falling apart, and she was the only one he wanted to talk to. Why was that? Because he knew she wouldn't judge him? Or was it because she was the only one who didn't demand anything from him? She was the only one who brought him peace.

Her fingers tightened around the fabric of his shirt, and he watched goosebumps rise on her skin. With his one free hand, he draped the blanket over her. His other hand mindlessly drew circles on her back. He needed to leave. He needed to put some space between them before this situation got any more inappropriate, but he wanted to stay.

His internal clock and the dim morning light told him he had a little time before heading back to his apartment. He wanted to spend that time crammed on Alexis' tiny couch, engulfed in her scent, relishing in the rise and fall of her chest against his. He gently brushed her hair back, mesmerized by the length of her eyelashes, the angle of her cheekbones, the full pout of her lips–

No. No, he wasn't going there. He wasn't thinking about that. He was married, and she was nineteen. It was beyond inappropriate; it was just plain wrong. Kevin ignored the voice in his head reminding him that Alexis was very much an adult. He took another deep breath, almost jolting off of the couch in shock when he realized he was being watched by a pair of sleep-hazed blue eyes.

Kevin froze, and for a moment they just stared at one another. He felt her body tense, and his hand stilled against the bare skin of her back. What could he say to her? Should he thank her? Should he apologize? Should he find some way out of their heaven-sent situation and leave?

His mind quieted when her cold fingertips brushed his hair from his forehead. He sank into the gesture, his eyes fluttering shut against the gentle, soothing sensation. She was doing it again, destroying every bit of anxiety and self-imposed guilt with one simple touch. How did she do that?

When his eyes opened again, she had a soft smile on her face. He loved that smile. His hand caught hers and, without thinking about it, he brushed a kiss over the back of her fingers. Her eyes widened, but she didn't pull away. His thumb pressed against the inside of her wrist, and he felt her pulse race. He kept his hand there, using it as a measure of sorts. Was her heart racing because she was uncomfortable? She didn't pull away from his touch, and she watched him with rapidly dilating eyes. No, she wasn't afraid.

His hand skimmed over her arm and shoulder, coming to rest just under her jaw. His fingers sank into her hair, and he tipped his head down so their noses were almost touching. Her mouth was inches away, and he watched her reaction closely. In the back of his mind, where common decency was screaming at him to stop, he knew that closing the distance between them would cross a line. A line that could never be uncrossed.

He stayed still, never taking his eyes off of hers, his mind cataloguing every movement and intake of breath. She glanced down at his mouth then locked eyes with him once more.

All of Kevin's concerns slipped away as Alexis pulled him close by the collar of his shirt and gently pressed her lips against his.

* * *

Author's Note: I hope you liked the newest installment of _Wrecked. _You'll notice that the rating has been changed to "M" for adult content in future chapters.

Many thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. You guys are great at motivating me! Please, please, please review!


	3. Three

Wrecked

by:

A.K. Hunter

Part Three

* * *

Kevin kissed her with the grateful desperation of a man lost in the desert who has just found an oasis. He was thorough, his fingertips pressing against her cheekbones, his lips moving against hers, varying the angle and pressure. Her mouth was unexplored territory, and he made sure he didn't miss anything.

Alexis returned as good as she got, holding him close, eventually dragging her teeth over his bottom lip. He hummed in appreciation, deepening the kiss and shifting so he hovered over her. She pulled his already half-untucked shirt free from its confines, her hands exploring his back. Her fingernails dragged over his skin, sending chills down his spine, and he broke the kiss with a moan, his fingertips dancing over the back of her thighs.

God, she loved that sound. Could she get him to make it again? Her fingernails dug into his lower back, pushing him downward as they drew angry lines across his skin. That same noise escaped his throat, and his hips found that perfect fit between her legs. Her thighs wrapped around him, and his warm hands moved up her legs, resting under her shorts, his thumbs brushing against her underwear.

In the back of her mind, Alexis knew she was playing with fire. She was pushing him, teasing him, testing the limits of his rapidly deteriorating self control. She didn't care; she wanted to get burned.

She kissed him roughly, biting down on his bottom lip at the same time she rolled her hips against his. He groaned against her mouth, and his thumbs slipped underneath her panties, digging into her hipbones. His hips jerked against hers and pleasure coiled low in her belly. Alexis was caught between the need to feel him deeper and the desperate knowledge that no matter what happened, he couldn't stop. She needed him to keep going, to keep up that delicious friction against her core.

He lifted her hips, changing the angle he moved against her at the precise moment his teeth sank into the crook of her neck. Her eyes rolled back as pure sensation washed over her, and his name slipped through her parted, bruised lips.

Alexis was pulled forward, Kevin's quick hands tugging her night shirt over her head. The cool morning air on her flushed skin almost woke her up to reality, but not quite enough. She knew there was a reason why kissing Kevin felt like tasting forbidden fruit. She just couldn't remember exactly why.

Kevin's mouth trailed down from her neck, tasting the soft skin of her breasts. Alexis bit back a moan, her fingers raking through his hair. The tables had turned. She was the one who was quickly losing all semblance of self control.

His teeth dragged across her bottom lip, and he broke away long enough to pull his shirt over his head. Her mouth went dry at the amount of smooth, exposed skin and lean muscle, and then Kevin was pushing her back against the cushions, kissing her roughly, his fingertips running down her sides and hooking around the waistband of her shorts. His wedding band gleamed in the morning sunlight.

Warning signs went off in her brain, and sickening guilt erased every pleasant feeling from her body. They needed to stop. Now. She broke away from his mouth. "Kevin-"

His lips closed over hers and she pushed him back. "Stop!"

Something in her voice shook him out of his pleasure-seeking haze. His eyes locked on hers, and Alexis saw the exact moment he realized what they'd been about to do. He all but stumbled off of her couch, backing away from her with wide eyes. Alexis held the blanket to her bare chest, unable to tear her eyes away from Kevin's devastated expression.

They stared at one another, not moving, wordlessly daring the other to break the silence first. Guilt was etched into the lines of his face, and the exposed planes of his torso suddenly made him seem more vulnerable than desirable.

"Alexis-"

"You should go." She tossed him his shirt. She couldn't look at him, a married man, one of her dad's best friends, knowing what she'd almost done. What she had actually done.

"I'm so sorry," he continued. "I don't know what came over me."

She shook her head. "It's fine." He opened his mouth to argue, and she cut him off. "Just go. You're going to be late for work."

For a moment, he stared at her, his sharp blue eyes taking in every detail of her appearance. She looked down at her hands, at the blanket that pooled in her lap. Alexis knew Kevin was a damn good detective. He saw things that other people overlooked; it was his job. She didn't want him to see the whirlwind of emotions behind her eyes, didn't want him to notice the marks his mouth had left on her skin or the way her body already missed his warmth. Alexis wanted to be overlooked.

"Okay."

Silence crowded in as he dressed, first his shirt, then his shoes and jacket. He paused on his way to the door. "I... Are you sure you're okay?"

Alexis hadn't moved a single muscle while he dressed. She sat alone on the couch, staring down at the blanket that protected what was left of her dignity. She nodded, still refusing to look him in the eyes. "I'm fine."

"Alexis-" His phone rang, and he tugged the device out of his pocket. "It's Beckett."

She forced herself to stand, holding the blanket around her. Her fingers brushed against his hand, and electricity danced up her arm as she ushered him out the door. Nervous words tumbled out of her mouth. "I'm really fine. No harm, no foul. And it sounds like you have a dead body waiting so you should probably go. Good luck with everything. I hope you catch the killer. Goodbye Detective Ryan!"

"Hey-" Her door closed in front of him, and Alexis locked it, resting her forehead against the wood with a sigh. She half-expected him to knock. She half-hoped that he would demand to know if she was truly alright. She wasn't sure what her answer would be.

He didn't.

Alexis waited, counting seconds in her head, before she opened her door. The empty hallway stretched out in front her, and an equally bereft feeling settled across her chest. Kevin was gone.

* * *

It had all started with a closed door, and yet here Kevin was in front of another one, trying to decide whether or not it was worth it to knock. He'd been invited to the annual Christmas party at Castle's loft and, though he normally loved the festivities, this year he was more than a little unsure about coming around. It had been four days since he'd woken up on Alexis' couch, and Kevin wasn't sure he could face her just yet.

He still couldn't believe what he'd done—taking advantage of Alexis like that. She'd opened her home to him, had comforted him through a particularly weak moment, and how had he repaid her? Sick excitement churned inside his stomach every time he thought about it, about her. Thank God she had stopped him, because he certainly wasn't capable of restraining himself.

Kevin had been with plenty of women. He'd really been with them too, not just kissing and grinding on the couch like a pair of lust-crazed teenagers. He knew was it felt like to be infatuated, to not be able to get a woman out of his head. What he'd never counted on was Alexis Castle being one of those cases. Their moment of passion played on a loop in his mind, mixing with memories of her kind smile, of her holding him while he broke down. The images tugged at his heartstrings in a way he hadn't felt since he'd started dating Jenny years before. Kevin sighed raggedly. He needed to get it together. Obviously the stress of the divorce was getting to him.

The door opened in front of him, and Martha pressed her hand to her chest in surprise. "Oh! Hello, detective. You're early. You know the party doesn't start for another hour?"

He nodded. "I won't be staying for the party. I just wanted to drop off a couple gifts."

"Oh. I'm so sorry to hear that. Well, I'm off to get a few things, but you can leave the gifts under the tree. Richard and Kate will be sure to get them."

Kevin walked into the living room, amused at the elaborate decorations that hung all over the loft. It looked just like Santa's workshop. As he neared the tree, he stopped in his tracks.

Alexis stood on a ladder, hanging decorations in the doorway to Castle's den. Her back was to him, and he wondered for a moment if he should just drop the gifts and run. The whole point of showing up an hour early was to avoid the girl he couldn't stop thinking about.

He watched, frozen, as she fearlessly stepped to the top of the ladder, balancing precariously as she stapled a string of lights to the ceiling. She hummed a Christmas carol to herself as she worked, and the hem of her shirt rose a few inches as she continued decorating. Kevin was momentarily distracted by her exposed lower back. He remembered how soft her skin felt beneath his fingertips, how good it tasted. He shook his head. Now was definitely not the time.

He slowly, quietly approached the Christmas tree. He would just put the gifts in the stack and then sneak away. She didn't even need to know he was there. After the way she'd thrown him out of her apartment a few days earlier, he was sure she didn't want anything to do with him. It was best not to engage. Of course, the best-laid plans had a tendency to fall apart. As he lay his gifts in the pile, his hand brushed against a Rudolph figurine, which started dancing, loudly playing the most obnoxious Christmas song Kevin had ever heard.

Alexis jumped at the sudden cacophony, dropping the staple gun on the floor and only just keeping herself upright on the ladder as the filthiest words Kevin had ever heard tumbled out of her mouth. He rushed forward, holding the ladder steady so she wouldn't fall off of it.

"Kevin?" she gasped. His blood heated up as he was momentarily thrown back to the last time she'd said his name like that.

"Are you alright?"

She climbed down the ladder, glaring at him. "Didn't anyone ever tell you not to sneak up on people?"

"I didn't want to interrupt you."

She cocked her head to the side, then squatted down and turned off the dancing reindeer. "I hate that thing. Dad says it has character, so he won't get rid of it."

Kevin didn't say anything. He just watched her, trying not to look too closely at the slight curl in her hair, or the way her red lipstick made her mouth look delicious.

"What are you even doing here? The party's not for another hour."

He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Dropping off some gifts for Castle and Beckett."

"And you couldn't do that at the party?"

"I'm not going to the party."

"Why not?"

He faltered for a moment, pretending his focus was on the elaborately decorated Christmas tree.

"Kevin?" she prompted, moving into his line of sight.

"I think you know why not." He couldn't quite bring himself to look into her eyes.

"That's stupid."

He looked up at her in surprise. "Excuse me?"

"So we kissed—so what? We were both half awake. We weren't in our right minds. It's not a big deal."

He frowned at her. That was certainly not how he remembered the incident, and he wasn't sure he appreciated the flippant way she brushed it off. "It's not a big deal?"

She shook her head. "It was just a dumb mistake. It didn't mean anything. Why beat yourself up about it?"

That didn't sound at all like the Alexis he knew, the Alexis with a moral compass so strong she had grounded herself on more than one occasion while growing up. _His_ Alexis had to be upset about their trespass, was probably beating herself up about it just as much as he was, but the woman standing in front of him didn't seem bothered at all. "Because it was wrong."

"It was a mistake," she repeated. "People make mistakes. It happens every day. You live and learn and move on with your life."

He hadn't moved on. Not a day passed that he didn't think about it. Every night he dreamed about her, waking up with desire and guilt mixing inside him. He couldn't reconcile his feelings, the longing he felt for her. And it wasn't just physical either. He wanted to talk to her, to tell her things and learn more about her. Kevin knew that seeking her out, that asking for anything more than the lasting acquaintance they'd always had, would be wrong, but it hurt to see her so unphased by the encounter that had changed everything for him.

"You make mistakes like that often?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm just surprised. I was actually kind of worried, but you seem totally fine. Like you've done this before or something."

The look of horror on her face stopped his anger in its tracks. "You really think so little of me?"

He paused, taken aback by her sudden change of tone. "I'm sorry," he sighed. "I know you didn't... plan on that happening." He didn't know how to talk to her without putting his foot in his mouth. When Kevin looked at Alexis, all he saw was a mistake, a mistake that he wanted to make again and again.

Silence settled in, and she finally asked, "So what are you doing if you won't be at the party?"

"Just relax, I guess."

"All by yourself? It's Christmas Eve."

He briefly glanced at her before returning his gaze to the Christmas tree. "Jenny's gone. Her lawyer's drawing up the paperwork... but it's alright. I'm visiting my sister and her family tomorrow. I won't be alone."

She looked up at him, worry and guilt clear in her eyes. He sighed. This was exactly why he had decided to not go to the party. He didn't want to spend the evening feeling awkward and guilty around her. He could do that well enough by himself. "I'd better go."

"Wait." She licked her lips, a small gesture that almost drove him to madness. "Will you help me with something before you go?"

He hesitated. Much as he wanted to stay, it wasn't advisable.

"Please?"

"Sure. What do you need?"

For the next half hour, Kevin stood next to the ladder as Alexis hung garland and mistletoe around the loft. It was clear to him that his help wasn't really needed. She'd been doing just fine before he'd arrived, but she didn't want him to leave. She kept him talking, kept giving him small tasks, like handing her decorations or asking his opinion on whether or not she'd hung something crookedly.

"So are you sure about going through with the divorce?" she asked, her eyes locked on the decorations. "It's a big step."

His fingers brushed against the back of her wrist as he handed her a cluster of mistletoe. "A wise person told me that I needed to go after what I really wanted. I'm trying to follow her instruction."

"And what do you really want?" She had stopped and was staring down at him from her place atop the ladder. Her hair framed her face, and she bit her lip nervously.

"I'm still working on that one," Kevin lied. If he was being honest, he was looking at what he really wanted, staring her in the face, but he couldn't want her. Couldn't have her. A crease appeared between her eyebrows, and he decided it was time to change the subject. "So did you ever decide on your summer plans?"

"I'm going to take the internship with the DA."

"Following in Castle's footsteps, huh?"

"Something like that. It's a great opportunity. It'll be interesting to see what happens to some of these people after you guys catch them." She stepped back down to the floor, standing next to him. "Does the mistletoe look okay? Gram said that no Christmas party is complete without loads of the stuff."

"And she's right," Martha said as she walked back into the loft, carrying a couple bags of groceries.

"Do you need help with any of that?" Kevin asked.

"No, thank you," she said with a smile. Castle's mother stopped for a moment, eyeing her granddaughter and the detective, who were still standing next to the ladder. "Are you two going to do anything about that mistletoe?"

"What's wrong with it?" Alexis asked.

"What's wrong is that there's mistletoe above your head, a handsome detective standing next to you, and you're not kissing him," she said with a wink as she began unpacking groceries.

Alexis' eyes widened, and Kevin glanced up at the traitorous weed hanging over them, then back down to Alexis, whose face was reddening by the second. Truth be told, he wanted it. More than anything. She wordlessly looked up at him, her ruby lips barely parted. Jesus, he wanted to taste them again. Had she always been standing so close to him? The scent of her perfume invaded his nostrils, and he felt his blood heating up at he gazed down at her. One step, that was all it would take. One step and the space between them would close. One step and he'd-

What the hell was he thinking? No. He couldn't do this. She was nineteen, and he'd already taken advantage once.

"I've got to go."

"Kevin-" Alexis called after him.

He headed straight for the door, letting it shut behind him, not stopping until he reached the street. Distance. That was what they needed, what _he_ needed. A little time, a little space, and he'd be able to get his head on straight. Kevin took a deep breath and then headed in the direction of his apartment, his mind made up. Allowing himself to get close to Alexis had started the problem, so there was only one clear solution.

He was going to stay away from her.

* * *

Author's Note: Kev thinks he's so smart, but we all know better. ;) This chapter is dedicated to Cassie, who does not ship Rylexis **at all** but has left some lovely feedback on this story. I'm so glad you're enjoying it, Cassie, and welcome to the dark side.

Life has been pretty crazy over the last couple months and especially over the last few weeks. Last Friday I graduated from college (yay!), and now all I have to worry about is working 9-5, which is actually a lot easier than the schedule I've been living with for the last year. So... updates should be more regular from here on out.

Please, please, please review. I love hearing your thoughts on _Wrecked._

Also, be sure to check out my other Rylexis stories (if you haven't already) _Irish Magic _and _In My Veins_.

Until next time,

A.K. Hunter


	4. Four

Wrecked

by:

A.K. Hunter

Part Four

* * *

Alexis was not having fun.

The date had been planned since the end of the fall semester, and she remembered being excited for it at some point. Jonathan was a nice guy. He was really smart, really cute, and they had a lot in common. After a half a semester of flirting with him, Alexis had thought a date would be a great way to get to know him better. And in theory, it was. But in reality, Alexis could barely bring herself to pay attention to the handsome young man sitting across from her.

Kevin had been ignoring her. Or avoiding her. Either way, he wouldn't answer her calls or messages. She been worrying about him since he up and left from the loft before the Christmas party almost a week earlier. She'd tried to get him to come back, nobody should be alone on Christmas Eve, but to no avail. Radio silence had taken over. She'd tried to check on him since then, but again, he never responded.

"Something on your mind?" her date asked, and Alexis was yanked back to the present. It was the third time she'd spaced out and the second time he'd asked about it.

"Sorry," she said, blushing. "I'm just a little tired, I guess."

He watched her skeptically, so she decided a subject change was in over. "What classes will you be taking next semester?" She tried to listen closely to his response, making sure to nod in all the right places.

She just didn't understand why Kevin was so adamant about ignoring her. Had she made him mad somehow? Wasn't he supposed to be her friend? He'd sought her out after Jenny asked for a divorce. He'd cried in her arms and spent the night on her couch. He'd trusted and confided in her with a very personal concern. Why, after all that, would he just toss her to the side?

Alexis had tried to be flippant about… whatever had happened on her couch. She didn't hold him responsible for that. It was just a mistake. He was hurting, and she was barely awake. She knew he didn't feel that way for her. He still saw her as Castle's kid; he'd said so himself. He was probably thinking of his soon-to-be ex-wife when he kissed her back. Alexis knew he hadn't meant it, and he didn't need to stay away from her. How could she get him to understand that?

"Alexis?"

She belatedly realized her date was talking to her and shook her head. "Sorry. I'm so sorry, what did you say?"

He gave her a pained smile and stood up, throwing enough cash down on the table to cover his half-eaten dinner. "Listen, I'm going to go–"

"No, you don't have to do that–"

"Clearly you've got other things on your mind, so I'll leave you to them."

"Johnathan–"

He kissed her cheek, and she involuntarily tensed at the contact. "Call me when you want to try this again," he said.

Alexis was left alone. What the hell was it about her that sent guys running? Of course, that last one had definitely been her fault. She'd been a terrible date. She just couldn't get Kevin out of her mind. If she wasn't worrying about him, then she was up late trying to remember the exact taste of his mouth or the small gasps he made as he moved against her. Alexis rested her head in her hands with a groan. What was wrong with her?

She paid for her dinner and left, unsure of what to do with the rest of her evening now that her date had fallen apart. She glanced down at her phone, acutely aware of the silence from the one person she actually did want to talk to. The person she couldn't stop thinking about.

Truth be told, her desire to talk to Kevin wasn't just out of worry. She missed him. She wanted to be around him, and not just in a platonic way. Their moment together played on a continuous loop in her mind, and Alexis had methodically pulled the encounter apart, trying to figure out what it was about the older detective, how he'd gotten under her skin. Before spending the night together on her couch, she'd had a bit of a crush on him, but she didn't think that was so surprising. He was a kind, handsome man, and she'd never let her attraction run wild. She had recognized the girlish crush for what it was, and moved on with her life. Each time they'd talked, swapping concerns and advice, she'd kept her feelings in check. Alexis honestly thought of and treated Kevin like a friend. Nothing more.

And then she'd woken up next to him—pressed up against him, really—and he'd acted like he wanted to kiss her. That simple action had pretty much shattered any lingering doubts about her attraction.

God, she was so stupid. He didn't see her like that. Hell, he probably thought of her as some young, naive girl who was foolish enough to accidentally kiss an older man. In reality, it wasn't an accident. She'd kissed him because she wanted him: a sad, older man who was struggling with marital problems. She'd basically taken advantage of him, and seeing that wedding band on his finger had been a brutal wake up call. He didn't want her. He didn't see her the way she saw him. So she sent him away before she could make matters any worse for either one of them.

But now he was staying away, and Alexis didn't like that either. It was a lose-lose. She glanced down at her phone again. It was time to figure out what was going on. If he didn't want to talk to her, fine. But she was going to talk to him. She dialed a familiar number.

"Lanie, hi. Listen, I have a weird question for you…"

Alexis arrived at his doorstep, anger and frustration and more than a little bit of worry motivating the sharp raps at his door. Seconds later, the door opened, revealing a very tired Kevin Ryan.

"Alexis?" His eyes widened, and she thought she saw his face color just a bit. "What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"

She steeled herself. "You've been avoiding me."

His mouth opened, then closed. He looked down at the floor. "Listen, I'm beat. I don't think now is a good time to talk about this."

"When is a good time?"

"I don't know."

She pushed past him, walking into his apartment and leaning against the couch. "Now is good for me. Let's talk."

"Alexis, I don't want to talk to you right now."

"Why not? Did I do something wrong?"

He shook his head. "No, it's something I did."

She frowned. "This is about the other day, isn't it? I told you, Kevin, it's not a big deal."

"It is to me."

"Why?"

"You're so young—I can't help but feel like I took advantage."

She shook her head, trying to ignore how much his words hurt. He was confirming every suspicion she had about his feelings for her, or lack thereof. "I told you it didn't mean anything. This whole time I've been worried sick about you. What do I need to say to convince you that it's not a big deal?"

He sighed, "You can't have it both ways, Alexis."

"What are you talking about?"

"You can't say that what happened between us doesn't mean anything and then get mad at me for avoiding you."

"It didn't mean anything…" He felt guilty because he saw her as a kid, but he didn't need to feel that way. She frowned as she looked up at him, noticing the color that had spread across his cheekbones during their conversation. "Right?"

"Please leave."

"Kevin, did it mean something to you?"

His eyes widened, and he forced himself to look away from her. "I don't want to have this conversation with you."

"It did mean something. You… have feelings for me?" A new, frightening feeling spread through her chest at the possibility.

"Alexis…"

He stood a couple feet away during their conversation, and she crossed the gap, standing right in front of him. Something akin to stage fright pricked at her mind. What was she supposed to do now? She reached down, her fingers encircling his wrist, her thumb stroking the sensitive skin around his racing pulse point. He tensed, but didn't move away. His eyes remained on the floor.

"It's wrong," he whispered.

"It doesn't feel that way."

"I'm married."

"You're getting a divorce."

His hand slipped down her arm, his fingers entwining with hers. He stepped close enough for her to smell his cologne. He looked up at her, a strange mix of desire and defiance in his eyes."I can't offer you a normal relationship. I can't be your boyfriend or give you what you deserve."

Alexis forced herself to maintain eye contact, to not back down even though his proximity made her head spin. The words settled on the tip of her tongue, and she forced them out, trying to sound brave and in control when in reality she was scared as hell. "I'm not asking you to."

His eyes softened and he glanced down at her lips. His free hand twined in her hair, and her mouth went dry when he tipped her head up, his face inches from hers.

His thumb stroked over her cheekbone, sending sparks across her skin, the electricity coiling somewhere around her navel. His lips were so close she could almost taste them. He tipped his head down, brushing his lips against hers. A ghost of a kiss, so light and gentle that she might have imagined it. Sparks ignited in her blood; her heart pounded against her ribcage.

His tongue traced her lips, and every pretense of her control on the situation shattered.

She moaned against his mouth, her tongue pressing against his, her fingers raking through his hair. She had foolishly thought that kissing him would sate her desire. One more kiss and she'd have her fill. Instead, each breathless, desperate crash of his lips against hers left her hungry for more. She couldn't be close enough. He was the taste in her mouth, the air she pulled in with each ragged breath, the wanton groans that filled her ears. It was all Kevin. Always Kevin.

She found herself perched on the edge of the couch, Kevin's fingertips skimming over her thighs as he rucked her dress up around her hips. She nipped at his neck and he responded by gripping her thighs and pulling her hips flush against his, grinding into her despite the layers that separated them. Alexis whimpered, his name on the tip of her tongue.

Pleased with her response, Kevin rutted against her again, and she responded by pulling his shirt over his head. Her mouth sampled the skin of his chest, moving upward until she found the crook of his neck. She mewled helplessly when his hips crashed against hers once more.

She needed him, all of him. Her fingers made quick work of his belt, the buttons and zipper on his pants following suit. Her hand slipped inside his boxers, stroking him once, twice, until his body curled forward and he lifted her into his arms with a pleasured groan. Her legs wrapped around his waist, her hips moving as she devoured his mouth, sinking her teeth into his bottom lip. He moaned against her mouth, his steps stuttering each time she moved against him.

They'd made it to the hallway outside his bedroom before Kevin couldn't take her teasing any longer. As soon as her bare feet touched the floor, he spun her around and yanked down the zipper of her dress, his lips and teeth marking the freshly exposed skin on the back of her neck and shoulder. He unclasped her bra; the fabric pooled on the floor around her ankles, and a clinking noise announced his pants joining her discarded clothes on the floor. Alexis tried to face him, groaning in frustration when he held her in place, pressing his hips against her lower back. Her frustration turned desperate when his fingers slipped beneath the waistband of her panties.

He caressed her slowly, teasingly, just enough to set her blood on fire and leave her wild with desire. Alexis bucked her hips, a desperate keen escaping her mouth. She turned her head, seeking his lips. He brushed his mouth against hers once before trailing his lips behind her ear and nipping playfully at the sensitive skin he found there. It was enough to push her desire beyond what she could take. She reached between them, her fingers wrapping around his length once more. He moaned against her neck, his hips moving in time with each stroke.

Suddenly, he released her, stepping away from her touch. She turned to him, her sense of loss quickly replaced by surprise as he stripped down and pressed her against the wall. His arousal pressed against her belly as his mouth crashed into hers, lips, teeth, and tongue tasting her skin as his mouth descended lower. When his lips sucked savagely at her hipbone her head spun, and she wasn't sure she'd be able to keep standing. His fingers skimmed up her thighs, hooking around the fabric of her panties and slowly—too slowly—pulling them down her legs.

The flimsy fabric eventually joined their clothes on the floor, and she stared down at him with half-lidded eyes as he took in her naked form, his eyes dark with desire. He glanced up at her, and she distantly wondered whether or not she had the same expression. His eyes softened for just one moment, sending her heart into palpitations, and Alexis let out a pleasure-pained yelp as his teeth nipped at the soft skin of her inner thigh.

His hands squeezed at her waist and he lifted her once more. Her legs wrapped around him, and he paused, looking to her for some sort of confirmation. She nodded once, arching her hips, and he closed the space between them with one, quick thrust. He muffled her cry against his mouth, and after giving her a moment to adjust to him, he pulled back, thrusting inside her again.

She should have known she was asking for more than she could handle. Her lower back hit the wall with each thrust, Kevin's fingers digging into her hips and thighs. It was all she could do to hold on to him, pleasure rocking through her with each slam of his hips against her core.

"Kevin," she gasped, wiggling her hips against his, almost blinded by her need. Her legs tightened around him in an attempt to pull him deeper.

His grip on her tightened, and he crossed the distance to his bed in a few clumsy steps. Alexis' back pressed against the soft bed sheets, and he pulled out. Before she could protest, he flipped her onto her stomach, yanking her body up to his by her hips. His fingers dug in around her hip bones, and he picked up where they'd left off, his pace grueling, sensation slamming across her base with every unforgiving thrust.

Electricity buzzed in her veins, and stars lit up behind her eyes as she clenched the bedsheets, biting her lip against the name that formed on her tongue.

Before she could come back down from her high, he grabbed a handful of her hair, wrenching her up against him, her back against his chest, drawing her body out like a marionette.

His mouth moved over her neck and shoulder, his teeth wrecking capillaries along the way. She couldn't speak, couldn't get her mouth to form words around the moans and cries that erupted from her throat.

Kevin gasped raggedly in her ear, relentlessly driving into her core until pleasure overloaded her senses, erasing everything but his touch. She couldn't stop herself from crying out his name. He fell over the edge shortly thereafter, his grip on her almost painful. He released her, and Alexis collapsed gratefully into the bedsheets, her eyes fluttering closed as she fought to catch her breath.

His weight pressed into the bed next to her, and his arms wrapped around her, stroking her sweat-slicked hair away from her neck. He pressed a gentle kiss against her throat, and Alexis was amazed at the contrast between the sweet gesture and the mind-blowing sex they'd just had, at the dichotomy that was Kevin Ryan. For a few precious moments she lay with him, boneless and totally satisfied, savoring the feeling of his chest rising and falling with hers. It was almost too easy to ignore the twisting in her stomach, that sick feeling that had always haunted her when she'd done something wrong.

His fingertips pressed against her cheekbone and her eyes fluttered open. Kevin watched her with blown pupils, a small smile on his lips. He gently brushed his mouth against hers, and her eyes closed again as she leisurely kissed him back. They were both consenting adults, after all. There was absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying each other.

"I'm glad we talked," Alexis said.

"We didn't do much talking."

She straddled him. "Want to talk some more?"

He grinned and ran his hands down her sides. "You're going to kill me, aren't you?"

"There are worse ways to die."

A dark emotion flashed behind his eyes, and Kevin's smile slipped just a little bit. "I suppose there are."

* * *

Author's Note: I think if Alexis had a superpower, it would be adamantine denial.

This chapter is dedicated to Lori2279, who PM'd me this morning asking for an update. Lori, your wish is my command. :) If you like _Wrecked_, I suggest checking out my other Rylexis stories: _In My Veins _and _Heart of Stone_.

A million thanks to everyone who has reviewed, followed, favorited, or PM'd me about this story. Your support means the world and (in the case of today's update) really motivates me to keep these stories going.

Please, please, please review!

Until next time,

A.K. Hunter


	5. Five

Wrecked

by:

A.K. Hunter

Part Five

* * *

"So the divorce… it's set in stone?"

Kevin stood with Javi at Castle's New Years Eve party, nursing a beer and trying not to check his phone too frequently. "As soon as Jenny's lawyer gets back from the holiday, he'll process the paperwork and we'll be officially divorced."

"How are you holding up?" Javi asked.

Kevin sighed and shrugged. "She deserves to be happy and have everything she wants. Divorce was the best option." The word never failed to hit him somewhere between his heart and his stomach, but Kevin knew they'd done the right thing. He couldn't give Jenny what she wanted, not right now, perhaps not ever, and it wasn't fair to ask her to wait around for him. They were at an impasse. All they could do was try to move on and be happy with the lives they'd chosen to live apart.

"You didn't answer my question."

"I'm fine, Javi." And he was fine. He'd made the best possible choice for himself, and he knew in time the ache of not having Jenny around would fade. For better or worse, nothing lasted forever. It wasn't lost on Kevin that the pain of divorce was being effectively numbed by the redhead who had been texting him throughout the evening. As his partner turned to greet another detective at the party, Kevin slipped his phone out of his pocket and checked his message thread.

9:55 p.m.: Happy New Year, Kevin.

10:05 p.m.: You too, gorgeous.

10:17 p.m.: How's the party?

10:21 p.m.: Could use more beautiful women. You sure you're staying away tonight?

10:29 p.m.: Yes—I'd rather Dad not catch us making out.

10:44 p.m.: I'll restrain myself.

10:47 p.m.: Doubtful.

10:53 p.m.: You're probably right. You can't restrain yourself either.

10:59 p.m.: Speaking of, what are you doing after? I need a handsome man to kiss at midnight.

11:08 p.m.: I think I can make room in my schedule.

11:09 p.m.: My place at 11:55?

Kevin's heart sped up at the most recent message. He glanced around quickly before responding and sliding his phone back in his pocket.

11:12 p.m.: I'll see you then.

Two days had passed since Alexis had showed up on Kevin's doorstep, demanding that their entanglement not end with one passionate encounter. As odd as the whole thing was, and as guilty as he felt every time he'd spoken to Castle in the days since he'd slept with Alexis, Kevin found himself enjoying their stolen, secret moments together. Looking back, he realized how stupid he'd been to think he could have ever stayed away from her. She'd sped things along by coming to Kevin's apartment that night, but given enough time he was certain he would have sought her out as well. There was just something about her that made it impossible for him to keep his distance. She made him weak, and though he was certain he would go to hell for it, hell was a price he would gladly pay to be with her.

Waking up next to Alexis the next morning was so much more than someone like him deserved. They'd had sex twice more that night, and he'd spent those hours reveling in her body, savoring the sensation of her wrapped tightly around him, the sound of her desperately crying his name, the taste of her skin on his tongue. He still couldn't quite believe it had happened, and he knew he'd never erase the image from his mind: Her tangled hair was spread out across the pillow, a few strands curling across her neck and shoulders, doing nothing to hide the purple marks his mouth had left behind. He was sure he had several marks to match. He had watched the rise and fall of her chest, contemplating big and small questions like how irrevocably their relationship had changed and what her favorite breakfast food was and why he couldn't bring himself to regret a single moment spent in her company. The smile that had spread slowly across her face as her eyelids fluttered open and she caught him watching her—that sleepy, affectionate, totally honest smile—had set his heart alight.

"Hey, Ryan."

Kevin was pulled from his thoughts by Alexis' father. Thank God Castle couldn't read minds. Kevin wanted to survive to see a new year. "Hey, Castle."

"Enjoying the party?"

"Definitely."

"There's a few eligible bachelorettes here tonight I'd love to introduce you to," the writer grinned.

"Ah, well, thanks but I'm actually heading out."

"Already?"

"I'm beat," Kevin shrugged.

"At least stay until midnight."

Kevin kept his expression neutral, though the irony of Castle's suggestion made him want to laugh. "Next time," he said with a smile. He clapped the writer on the shoulder. "Thanks for the beer."

As the detective walked out the loft, Javier approached Castle. "There's something going on with Ryan."

"You think so?" Castle asked.

Javier nodded. "He spent half the night on his phone with that lovesick expression and he doesn't seem at all upset about Jenny–"

"You don't think there's another woman?" The possibility had occurred to the writer as well. He'd noticed the same distraction in his friend's behavior during the course of the evening. Castle had expected Ryan to not be interested in meeting new women. He'd assumed that the young detective was still working through the grief of the divorce, that Ryan wouldn't be ready to see another woman for a long time. Castle had never expected the man to already be seeing someone else.

"I don't know," Javier said, not wanting to suggest that their friend was capable of that kind of behavior, "but he's definitely not acting like himself."

Castle nodded. Ryan wasn't himself. He hadn't been himself for a few weeks now. The writer could only wonder what had caused the change.

* * *

Kevin arrived at Alexis' apartment a couple minutes before midnight, a little nervous to see her again. Though they'd talked on the phone and texted each other often, he hadn't seen her in person since the morning after their first night together.

_Alexis was seated at his kitchen table, dressed in day-old clothes, looking almost shy as she watched him move around the kitchen. How she could look shy after everything they'd done the night before, he had no idea, but he didn't mind. The light blush across her cheekbones just made him want her more._

_"Chocolate-chip pancakes," he announced unnecessarily as he'd set the plate in front of her. "The–_

_"–ideal thank you for a long night of amazing sex?" she finished with small smile. "You're welcome."_

_The bold statement combined with her hesitant expression proved to be his undoing, and he wasted no time pulling her up to her feet and claiming her mouth. Breakfast was quickly forgotten, though Alexis repurposed the whipped cream in a way that made Kevin's head spin._

_He was quickly learning that Alexis was passionate, brave, and charming—a true Castle—but she held herself to a different set of standards. She tempered passion with primness, felt embarrassed when she spoke before carefully considering her words, and hid some of the most charming parts of her personality behind polite manners and a strict adherence to rules._

_Later, when Kevin found himself leaning hard against the kitchen counter, simultaneously trying to catch his breath and kiss the woman whose legs were wrapped around him, he realized he loved it when Alexis let go of her self-imposed restraints. Without that innate recklessness, she probably never would have kissed him in the first place._

_Kevin didn't want to think about where he'd be without that blessed mistake._

"Punctual as always," Alexis said as she answered the door.

Kevin stepped into her apartment and she brushed her lips over his. A fruity scent washed over him, and he eyed the open bottle and used wine glasses on her kitchen counter. He knew she'd chosen to spend her New Year's Eve with her friends rather than attend her father's party, but he didn't know they'd been celebrating quite so hard before Alexis had sent them home. His hands slid down her back, resting on her hips. "You've been drinking?"

"Just a glass."

"You're not twenty-one."

"Are you going to arrest me, detective?" She gave him that same shy smile, and he just barely restrained himself from kissing her again.

"Was it really just a glass?" Whatever his questionable morals as of late, Kevin had no interest in messing around with a drunk girl, and everything about the redhead in front of him was screaming intoxicated, from the uncharacteristic looseness of her shoulders to her slightly unfocused eyes.

"Yes," she said, her mouth inches from his own. She watched him with heavy eyelids and dilating pupils, anticipation evident on her face. Her eyebrows drew together in thought. "Well, one glass plus three more."

That sounded about right. He dodged her lips, groaning when they dragged down his neck, content with their new target. "Alexis."

"Hmm?"

"We're not doing this tonight."

She pulled away, a pout forming on her lips. God, he wanted nothing more than to taste her again. "Why not?" she demanded.

"Because you're shit-faced."

She tried to argue, but apparently had enough sense to know she'd been caught. "What about my kiss?"

"I told you–"

"Just a kiss," she interrupted. "Please?"

"Alexis," he sighed. Who was he kidding? They both knew he couldn't say no to those big blue eyes. He gently cupped her face in his hands and tilted her head back just a fraction. His nose brushed against hers as he leaned forward, and he heard her sharp intake of air right before he pressed his lips against hers. After a moment, he felt her melt against him, and he tried to hide the smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth. Regretfully, he pulled away from her lips, then gently kissed her forehead. "Happy New Year."

Still in his arms, she rested her head against his chest. "Happy New Year, Kevin."

Though he'd gone over to her apartment expecting a different set of events, he was content. Just being near her, holding her in his arms—it was enough for him. Kevin didn't know what to think about that.

"Will you stay with me?" she asked, her head still against his chest.

"Of course." The answer was immediate, and soon enough Kevin found himself in Alexis' bed for the first time, wearing nothing but his T-shirt and boxers. Alexis was snuggled against him, wearing the same sleep shirt and pajama shorts she'd worn the last time he'd spent the night at her place. It had only been a couple weeks, but Kevin felt like months had passed since he and Jenny had separated, since he'd found much-needed companionship and release in a girl he'd known since she was fifteen.

"Kevin?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry I drank too much."

His arms tightened around her. "It's no big deal. We've all been there."

"Thanks for staying."

He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. "Anytime."

Kevin couldn't imagine going back to his lonely bed ever again—not when the alternative was waking up next to Alexis Castle. The cold winter light and his internal clock told him it was still early, but he couldn't go back to sleep. Years of early mornings at the precinct had ruined his ability to sleep in. He briefly thought about making coffee, maybe making breakfast, but Alexis' arm around his waist and the heat of her body dissuaded him from moving even an inch.

He knew, logically, that it was only a matter of time before the guilt caught up to him. He understood that he wasn't doing Alexis any favors, that it would likely end in heartache for both of them, but he couldn't stop. He couldn't leave her alone. He was a selfish bastard, and he wanted her. He felt her weight shift as she slowly woke up.

"Morning," she mumbled sleepily.

"Good morning, beautiful. How are you feeling?"

She blinked a few times. "Good?"

"No headache, no nausea?"

"I don't think so."

"Good." His mouth descended on hers as his hands sank into her hair. She moaned at the sudden contact and pressed her body against his. Her hands moved underneath his shirt, exploring the musculature of his back. He groaned as her fingernails dragged up his back, and she took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Her fingers reached for his quickly hardening length and he pinned her hands on either side of her head, entwining their fingers and kissing her slowly, savoring the sensation of her tongue moving with his. She groaned in frustration, moving her hips against his in an agonizing rhythm. Every brush of her hips made desire coil low in his belly.

He broke away from her mouth and moved down her body. He slid his hands under one knee, kissing a trail up the inside of her thigh, and he felt her tremble beneath him as she gasped at his ministrations. His teeth caught the sensitive flesh of her inner thigh and his name slipped through her lips. His fingers hooked around the fabric of her shorts, and she lifted her hips as he pulled them off with her panties.

He moved between her legs, draping her knees over his shoulders. His hands held her tightly by her hips. She tensed, feeling his warm breath against her inner thighs. His lips brushed against the bite mark he'd left and she reached for him. "Kevin–"

He turned his head, pressing a kiss against her palm. His head dipped down, his mouth finding that sensitive bundle of nerves, and Alexis threw her head back against the mattress with a gasp. Her fingers clenched the bedsheets as he tasted her, his tongue moving over her core until she could barely breathe around the pure want that coursed through her veins.

"Kevin," she keened, her hips moving of their own volition. He held her in place, savoring her sweetness, taking pride in the nonsensical words and sounds that escaped her lips as she climaxed against his tongue.

His lips moved up her body, stopping at her mouth, and he briefly allow her to taste herself. He pulled back, his heart tripping over the glazed expression in her eyes.

"Happy New Year," he grinned.

There was an almost feral look in those bright blue eyes, and Kevin knew he was about to become her prey.

A knock at the front door shattered their moment.

"You expecting company?" Kevin asked.

She shook her head. It was just past eight in the morning on New Year's Day. Everyone they knew was either still asleep or nursing a hangover.

"Probably got the wrong apartment," Kevin said. "I'll go check."

He closed the bedroom door behind him, imagining all the fun they'd have as soon as he made it back to bed. What Alexis lacked in experience she more than made up for with enthusiasm, and he wondered how many times he could get her to say his name before she begged for mercy. The thought sent chills down his spine.

Kevin padded across her apartment and opened the door, totally unprepared to see Castle on the other side.

* * *

Author's Note: You thought I'd forgotten all about this story, didn't you?

This chapter is dedicated to Loujohn0583 and ng22, who kindly asked for another installment of _Wrecked_. Thanks for the extra bit of motivation, guys! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and followed this story. You guys are all amazing. I hope you enjoyed the new chapter. I'll try not to make you wait so long for the next one. :)

Please, please, please review!


	6. Six

Wrecked

by

A.K. Hunter

Part Six

* * *

"Uh, hi Castle," Kevin said, panic rising in his chest. "What's going on?"

The writer looked just as surprised to see Kevin as the detective was to see him. Castle looked him up and down, his eyes catching on Kevin's state of undress. "What are you doing here, Ryan?"

Kevin was frozen in place. Obviously he couldn't tell Castle the truth; he enjoyed breathing too much. Jesus, if Castle had any idea what had really happened...

"Oh detective," a soft, feminine voice sing-songed.

He froze, praying to every patron saint he could think of that Alexis would be wearing clothes when she came through the bedroom door.

The redhead sauntered into the living room, flourishing an amazing case of sex hair with her sleep shirt hanging off of one shoulder. It looked like that was all she was wearing, too. God, she was so fucking beautiful. She stopped in her tracks, blue eyes wide when she saw who their guest was. "Dad?" she squeaked, yanking a throw blanket off of the couch to cover her bare legs.

The writer's eyes narrowed, and Kevin knew he would have to do some quick talking to make it out unharmed. Castle glanced at Alexis once more, then turned to Kevin. "Tell me you didn't," he said, his voice low.

Kevin's brain frantically searched for an answer. What could he possibly say at that point? He didn't want to lie to one of his best friends. Castle was giving him an out, a chance to escape unscathed. One look at Alexis' shocked expression and Kevin knew he couldn't lie. He cared about her; he wouldn't lie about their relationship. He at least owed it to her to accept the consequences for what they were doing.

"I did," Kevin said.

The writer moved toward him, fury written all over his face, and Alexis stumbled on shaking legs to stand between them. "Dad, no," she cried. She stood in front of Kevin, holding her hands out in front of her. "I wanted it."

Castle shook his head, disbelief clear on his face. "He's married, Alexis. You wouldn't— I know you couldn't do something like this."

Kevin watched the guilt settle over her shoulders, his heart sinking at her defeated expression. He didn't want to see that expression on her face ever again. Protective anger flared. Where did Castle get off trying to make her feel bad about herself?

"I guess you don't know me like you thought you did," she said quietly.

"She's an adult," Kevin said, stupid trying to defend her. He couldn't just let her bear the brunt of Castle's disappointment. "She can make her own decisions. She doesn't need your permission."

"Having an affair with a married man is not a decision she should have to make!" Castle snarled.

"I'm getting a divorce. And it's not some sordid affair."

"Kevin, shut up," Alexis said, but he ignored her, his eyes locked on Castle's.

"So what is this?" Castle demanded, looking at Alexis. "Are you telling me you're in a relationship with Ryan? You're dating? He's known you since you were a kid, Alexis."

"She's clearly not a kid anymore. Stop telling her how to live her life!"

His words settled in the air between them, and Kevin watched, motionless as Castle's weight shifted forward. Alexis stood her ground, pleading for her father to stop, but Kevin knew he wouldn't. Castle pushed Alexis to the side, and Kevin's head snapped back from the force of the man's punch. Blood gushed from his nose.

Castle pulled him up by the collar of his shirt, ready to deal out another blow. "I'm protecting my daughter."

"She doesn't need your protection," Kevin said, blood dripping from his chin. "I'm not going to hurt her."

"Is that a fact?"

Again, Alexis inserted herself between the men, both of her hands wrapped around her father's arm. "Dad, stop!" she cried. "Hurting him won't fix anything."

Castle paused for half a moment, and Alexis tried again. "Can we go get some coffee and talk? Just you and me?"

Castle released him with a shove, and Kevin stumbled backward. "I'll meet you in the car." Kevin could almost feel the fury leave the room with him.

As soon as her front door slammed, Alexis turned to him, looking at his face. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I've had much worse," he said, crossing to her kitchen for some paper towels. He mopped up the blood on his face and shirt. "Are you really going to go with him now?"

She shrugged helplessly. "I've got to talk to him before this situation gets any worse."

"You don't have go with him, you know."

"What else could I possibly be doing?"

"Staying here with me? Nursing me back to health?" his eyebrows raised suggestively. "We can pick up where we left off."

She smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "I wish." She hurried into her bedroom and threw on some clothes. He stood at her kitchen sink, watching the whole affair with dread building in his stomach. Alexis had a lot of respect for Castle and his opinions. What he if he told her to break things off?

"Hey," he said softly, grabbing her by the arm as she approached him, fully dressed. "You should come by later. We'll have lunch."

"That sounds nice."

"Do you promise you'll come?"

She frowned. "Are you alright?"

He kissed her forehead. "It's nothing. I'll see you later?"

"You will. I promise."

Kevin forced a smile to his face and tried to tell himself that he believed her.

* * *

Alexis had just been through the worst few hours of her life. Disappointed didn't even begin to describe the depth of her father's disappointment. He didn't even look at her the same way anymore. Whenever she looked into his eyes, all she saw was shame. He was ashamed of her. It made her sick.

Alexis walked up the stairs to Kevin's apartment, each step doubling the dread in her stomach. The worst part of her father's interrogation was that he tried to make her out to be some sort of victim. Like Kevin was taking advantage of her. Kevin wouldn't take advantage of anyone. He wasn't capable of it.

But that didn't mean her vague answers to her father's questions were at all satisfying.

_Who initiated the affair?_ She did. Alexis was the one to push them down this slippery slope in the first place. She'd kissed him first, and then when he'd tried to do the right thing and stay away, she'd convinced him to keep going.

_Was it a relationship or just sex?_ She didn't know how to answer that question. She knew she cared about him, more than she was willing to admit. He obviously liked her enough to seek out her company, but neither of those things meant they were actually in a meaningful relationship. And if it was just sex… Well, wasn't that exactly what she had signed up for? Why did it now seem so empty?

Kevin immediately ushered her in and wrapped his arms around her. "Hey. Are you okay?"

"I've been better," she said shakily.

"What did he say to you?" There was a quiet panic in Kevin's eyes, and that just made her feel even worse. How should she proceed? Was it better to ease him into it? Or should she just go for it, like ripping off a Band-Aid?

"Alexis?" he prompted.

"I don't think we should do this anymore," she blurted out.

His blue eyes widened, and he looked like he'd just been sucker-punched. "What?"

"This... whatever we're doing. It needs to stop."

"Why?"

"Why?" Alexis repeated. "Because it's not right." And she truly believed that. She needed to hold tight to that belief, because that was the only thing that would get her through this.

"It feels right," Kevin insisted.

"You're married."

"I'm getting divorced."

"And that makes this okay?"

"Wait, wait." He held his hands up. "Slow down. You really think that this is wrong?"

"Yes." She did. Didn't she?

"And this has nothing to do with what Castle said to you? This has nothing to do with him giving you a guilt trip?"

She shook her head. "I should feel guilty."

"Why? Because you're having fun for once? Because you're not over thinking every little thing and just enjoying yourself?"

"Kevin–"

"Just stop. Stop for one second and listen to yourself. Daddy says this is a bad idea so you're just going to throw it away?"

"It's not like that–"

"Then what is it? Because it sounds to me like you're just giving up."

She threw her hands up. "There's nothing to give up on. This is just a fling."

"You think I don't care about you?" he asked, stepping into her space. "You think you're just some plaything to me?"

"Kevin, what do you really know about me? What part of me do you care about so much? Would you be so desperate to be with me if you weren't in the middle of a divorce?" A large part of Alexis wished that he had an answer to that question, that he'd be able to honestly say that he cared about her because of her personality or her intelligence or some random quirk he'd observed in their short time together. She wanted to be desired because of her own qualities, not playing second fiddle to his soon-to-be ex-wife.

He hesitated, and that was enough for her. "It's better this way," she said, stepping back, and he grabbed her by both arms, yanking her back in front of him.

"Says who?"

"Kevin–"

He almost looked crazed. "Who says it's better this way?"

"I do."

"Don't I get a say?"

She frowned. "What do you want me to do?"

"Stay. Stay with me."

"I can't." And she really couldn't. Besides the guilt twisting in her stomach, that feeling she'd gotten so good at ignoring over the last few weeks, there was something akin to pain in her heart. His words were so enticing. She wanted to listen to them. She wanted to stay, to keep pretending that what they were doing would actually benefit them. But she couldn't. They were destined for the worst kind of heartache, whether or not he could see it.

"Why not?" he demanded.

"Because this isn't going anywhere. This is meaningless sex. There's no future here."

He shook his head like he couldn't believe what she was saying. "I told you I couldn't give you a normal relationship."

"I know."

"You told me you wanted this. You convinced me to start this with you in the first place."

"I know."

"Then why the hell are you changing the rules?" he almost shouted.

"Because some day one of us will want more!"

Silence settled in, and he swallowed thickly. "You want more?"

She sighed. "I will."

"But you don't want more yet?"

"I…" she hesitated. "I don't know."

He rubbed his face with his hands. "Alexis, what do you want from me?"

"I just know this won't work."

"Just tell me what you want! I can't give you what you want if you don't tell me!"

She was at a loss. He was willing to give her more? She looked at the crazed expression in his eyes, the set of his shoulders, his mussed hair that he'd clearly been running his hands through. The small bit of kindled hope sputtered out. He didn't have anything left to give. Not now, when their relationship was built on sexual attraction and his need to forget his broken heart.

Her voice was soft, apologetic. "Kevin–"

He stepped forward, covering his mouth with hers. She protested, trying to push him away, and he entwined their fingers, pressing her hands against the wall in an echo of that morning's activities. His hips ground against hers. "You really don't want this?" he whispered in her ear.

She moaned into his touch, getting lost in the sensations. His lips trailed down her neck and he nipped at her throat. "Is this what you want?"

"Kevin," she gasped. "Please."

His hands slipped down her sides and his thumbs pressed into her hip bones. "What, Alexis? What do you want?" His hand slipped up the inside of her shirt, cupping her breast. She keened as he drew circles over nipple through her bra.

"S-Stop!"

Immediately he stepped back, and she fought to catch her breath. "I'm sorry," she panted,"but I can't do this anymore."

"Get out."

"What?" Wasn't she supposed to be the one breaking things off?

"You're wasting my time. I have better things to do than play juvenile mind games with some spineless nineteen-year-old."

Alexis knew that he wouldn't be happy that she was breaking things off, but she wasn't prepared for him to lash out at her. She wasn't prepared for how much it hurt. "I'm trying to do the right thing!"

He glared at her, holding open his front door. "And I hope that righteous feeling will keep you warm at night, because I'm done. Get out."

Alexis walked out, anger and shame coursing through her. The door slammed behind her, and she started her walk back to her apartment.

Platitudes spun through her mind. She'd done the right thing. She'd saved them both from a lot of heartache. It was best to end things now, before either one of them became too attached.

One question broke through, shattering her attempts to comfort herself. Like her father's question, she didn't know how to answer it.

If she'd done the right thing, then why did it hurt so much?

* * *

Author's Note: Woo! Updated both my stories in the same weekend. I think I deserved a reward! Thanks a million to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I hope you're all happy to see Kevin (more or less) in one piece. If you liked _Wrecked, _you should check out my other Rylexis story, _Heart of Stone_.

Please, please, please review!

Next time: Kevin and Alexis get a cold dose of reality.


	7. Seven

Wrecked

by:

A.K. Hunter

Part Seven

* * *

Alexis had lost control of her mind.

Physically, she was in her literature class, listening to her professor's lecture on _Wuthering Heights_. Mentally, she was in the same place she'd been for almost three weeks: Kevin's apartment on New Year's Day.

Every moment since she'd walked away from him, her heart aching, she hadn't been able to turn off her traitorous brain. Memories mixed, playing on repeat: Kevin's mouth moving across her skin, forming her name, his passionate demand to know what she wanted, his plea for her to stay with him.

And in that mental amalgamation of the worst day of her life, one string of words stood out from the rest: _I have better things to do than play juvenile mind games with some spineless nineteen-year-old._ That was how he saw her now. She couldn't turn it off.

Every time she thought of that day, bitter mixed with sweet, pleasure transformed into pain, and everything she thought she knew, every bit of certainty, every ounce of trust in herself, had shattered.

Guilt and shame had become her closest friends; she carried their weight across her chest. Each heavy step was a reminder of her greatest mistake.

How could she have ever thought it was okay to be with Kevin? To even think about him in a romantic way? She had known, every step of the way, that it was wrong. She knew it in her gut, but she'd foolishly pursued him anyway. She was selfish and she wanted him. Even when he was trying to do the right thing and stay away, she'd convinced him otherwise. No wonder he thought she was playing mind games with him.

The worst part was that even after he'd essentially kicked her out of his life, even after her father had brutally reminded her of all the reasons they shouldn't be together, she still wanted Kevin. Even though she knew she should regret their little fling, she didn't. She missed him, she couldn't stop thinking about him or their brief time together. She'd left a piece of her heart back in his apartment, and she wasn't sure if she'd ever get it back.

"Alexis?"

The redhead glanced up at her professor. "Yes?"

"Do you have any thoughts to add about Heathcliff and Cathy's relationship?"

She shook her head. "I don't." Alexis had read the book in high school, but all she remembered was that the main characters were terrible people who drove themselves mad out of love for each other. These days, that concept felt a little too close to home.

Her professor frowned, but continued the discussion with the rest of the class. Alexis resisted the urge to lay her head across her books. God, she was tired. Every cell in her body screamed in exhaustion. The tiredness had been constant since just after the new year. For over two weeks she'd been zapped of her strength, and just carrying her books around campus left her body aching and totally depleted.

It couldn't be helped. Staying busy was the only thing keeping her sane. It was all too easy for her mind to fixate on the one person she wanted more than anything else.

"Are you okay?" Sara, her friend and classmate, asked after class. "You look sick." She reached her hand out towards Alexis' flushed skin, and the redhead backed away.

Alexis nodded. "I'm fine. Just didn't sleep well last night." That was a lie; she slept a lot, deeply. It just never seemed to be enough. A chill brushed over her skin, and she casually buttoned up her jacket.

"You want to get together tonight then? Or do you still hang out with your dad on Thursdays?"

"What do you want to do?"

Things weren't great between her and her father. He vacillated between outrage that one of his friends had laid a hand on his daughter and quiet, deep disappointment that she'd hopped into bed with a married man.

Logically, Alexis knew her dad loved her, that he would always love and support her. She just didn't think he respected her anymore, and that was almost as bad as losing his love. She hoped, in time, he'd be able to look at her without seeing her mistake. Until then, she stayed busy and indefinitely canceled their Thursday movie nights. It was better that way.

"There's a book signing in the village at seven."

Alexis nodded. It would be good to get out of her apartment. "I'll meet you at six?"

"Sure," Sara said. "Maybe you can get a nap first. You really look like you could use some rest."

Not if Alexis could help it. "I'll see you then." She tugged her backpack over her shoulders, ignoring the now-familiar ache across her bones and muscles. Each step felt heavier than the last as she walked home. She focused on putting one foot in front of the other and ignored the pain in her legs. She obviously needed to exercise more.

She trudged up the stairs to her apartment. She needed to start on her lit essay. She'd been putting it off for a few days. She just couldn't wrap her head around it; she couldn't understand why two people's love could cause so much pain and devastation. If you love someone, you don't hurt them. Guilt tugged at her stomach. She'd already done her fair share of hurting.

An image appeared in her mind: Kevin's fingers entwined with hers, pressing her against the wall in his apartment. She heard his voice begging her to stay, felt his mouth move across her flushed skin against her wishes and in compliance with her darkest desires.

Different memories moved to the forefront of her mind.

_You wouldn't do something like this._

_She's not a kid anymore. Stop telling her how to live her life!_

_Stay with me. _

_I have better things to do—_

No. That was enough. She shook her head, as if that action would loosen the memories from her brain.

She took a deep breath as she started on the final flight of stairs before her apartment. She should have taken the elevator. Her entire body ached from the exertion, her skin felt both hot and cold, and Alexis knew she could lay down in the filthy hallway and sleep for a year. One more flight of stairs.

About halfway up, the world started spinning. She sat down hard against the steps. Maybe she was sick. She'd never been so weak and tired before. She took a deep breath, then forced herself to her feet. She wobbled slightly but gripped onto the handrail to keep from falling.

Maybe Sara was right about that nap. Sleep was her only escape these days, and she deserved a break from thinking of the man who made her stomach twist with desire the same moment her heart ached with loss.

Alexis made it just outside her apartment door before her knees buckled. She gasped, her shaking arms the only things still holding her up, and pain shot up her muscles and into her shoulders from bearing her own body weight.

A new memory appeared in her mind: holding him close after the first time they'd had sex. He gently kissed her, his fingertips stroking her cheekbone. In that moment she'd wanted him in an entirely new way. The fragile feeling, more than any conscious thought, had ignited something inside her heart. Something that, days later, had been extinguished, replaced by unyielding confusion and broken trust.

_Stay with me._

_Just tell me what you want!_

_Get out. _

Her body crumpled and Alexis let her eyes fall shut, a few stray tears slipping down her face.

If you love someone you don't hurt them.

But it was too late for that.

* * *

The nuns had always taught him that you reap what you sow. In his twelve years of Catholic school, he'd become familiar with the words, but never understood them. Now he understood all too well.

"You get the ballistics report back yet?" Javi asked.

Kevin shook his head. "Not yet. Should be in by this evening."

His partner nodded, then turned back to his desk.

Kevin stared at his screen, mentally running through his list of tasks. They'd caught a fresh murder that morning; there was plenty of work to be done, thankfully. When he was focused on a case he didn't have to think about the trainwreck that had become his life. The first few days after what Kevin labeled in his mind as "The Mistake," Castle had refused to work with him, which, combined with the black eye, had forced Kevin to explain to Javi exactly what had happened.

The detective had called Kevin a selfish bastard for throwing away his perfect life, and Kevin hadn't bothered to correct his partner. Even though his life with Jenny had been far from perfect, Kevin was still a selfish bastard. Javi hadn't been wrong about that.

In the nearly three weeks since then, things had settled into a fragile arrangement. Castle ignored Kevin's presence entirely, but they still worked cases together. Javi was still angry. Gone were the days when he and his partner talked about life or got drinks after work. Javi still talked to him; they were still partners, but their partnership only existed on the job. When the day was over, Javi left Kevin alone.

Kevin was alone a lot these days. The divorce was finalized, and he'd given Jenny everything she wanted. He couldn't bothered deny her; he was the one who had ruined things in the first place. He was the one who was still incapable of giving her what she wanted.

So now he was single, a divorcé. His apartment was mostly empty. His closest friends couldn't stand to be around him. Kevin couldn't blame them for their anger; he could only blame himself.

"Ryan."

He looked up from his monitor. Beckett stood a few feet away, her coffee mug in hand. "You look like you need a pick-me-up." She gestured to the break room.

He glanced over to her desk, where Castle was fiddling with his cell phone. Kevin guessed the writer was either using his enviable connections to help solve their case, or more likely, trying to beat the next level on Candy Crush. Either way, there would be no tense interruptions.

"Sure," he said, grabbing his mug and following her in. He leaned against the table, watching the detective fill both of their mugs. "Any new leads?"

"If there were, I would have told you in the bull pen."

Kevin nodded, suddenly understanding what she had wanted to talk about. Beckett had been the most understanding. He knew she was far from pleased with him, but rather than revile him like everyone else, she'd accepted his mistake and the consequences that came with it. She was the glue holding their battered team together.

"How are you holding up?" she asked.

He sighed. "I'm fine, Beckett. You don't need to worry about me."

"You're my partner. I'm always going to worry about you."

"Well, don't. I'm not the victim here."

Her eyes widened at the bitterness in his tone. "One mistake doesn't make you a bad guy."

He laughed humorlessly. "It does if it's a big enough mistake."

"Kevin-"

"Kate," Castle rushed into the break room. "We've got to go."

"What's the matter?"

Kevin took in the writer's crazed expression, and dread wrapped around his heart.

"It's Alexis. One of her neighbors found her unconscious. We've got to get up to the hospital."

He couldn't breathe; fear and guilt had knocked the air right out of him. He remembered the last time he'd seen her, the devastation and shame that was etched into her face. He'd been such an ass to her. Was this somehow his fault? Would she be okay? She had to be okay.

Kevin gripped onto the edge of the table, watching helplessly as Beckett sprang into action, telling Castle she'd meet him in the car.

"Stay here," she said once Castle was out of earshot. She had noted the way Kevin's body tensed, preparing for movement. "Keep following the case. I'll call you as soon as I know something."

He couldn't just keep working like nothing had happened. "Beckett—"

"Ryan," she said sharply. "Stay here. I'll call you. I promise."

He ran his hands through his hair and finally nodded. "Okay."

Beckett rushed to the elevator, and Kevin took a deep breath and returned to his desk. He stared at his monitor, not really seeing it. For nearly three weeks, he'd been unable to get Alexis out of his head. Even when he was focused on a case he could feel her presence in the back of his mind.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her. He saw her hurt expression, her confusion, the complete defeat in her eyes when Castle had found out about them. He even saw her smile, a treasure from before everything had fallen apart, from before he'd pushed her away in an attempt to hurt her the same way she hurt him. Somehow, the smile was worse. It hurt more, made his guilt heavier. Jesus, if anything happened to her...

"What was that about?" Javi asked.

"Alexis is in the hospital."

His partner's brow furrowed. "Is she okay?"

"I don't know."

Kevin could feel his partner's eyes on him, but he couldn't look at him. Kevin couldn't see the accusation or disgust that he was sure would be there.

"We should probably focus on the case," Javier said.

Kevin nodded, and they went back to their respective tasks. Hours passed, and he tried to engross himself in the case. He moved through the leads with renewed efficiency, forcing himself to not look at the clock, not check his phone, not count the minutes that he'd spent waiting. Was it good or bad that Beckett hadn't called him yet? In the back of his mind, Kevin tried to figure out what would make a nineteen-year-old collapse in the first place, but he quickly found that train of thought to be more distressing than useful.

A homicide detective's brain was calibrated for worst-case scenarios: drugs and assault, namely. He couldn't imagine Alexis ever getting involved in the former, unless she'd somehow changed fundamentally in the last three weeks, and he couldn't dwell on that thought because his guilt was already deep enough to drown in.

That left the second option. Had someone hurt her? The thought made a protective sort of anger ignite in his chest. Despite the fact that he had no business feeling that way about Alexis—he'd hurt her, hadn't he?—Kevin couldn't turn it off.

"I'm heading out," Javier said finally. It was past seven, and the two of them had made a lot of progress on the case during Castle and Beckett's absence.

"Have a good night," Kevin said, his mind putting one mystery to the side and focusing on a new one. If someone had hurt Alexis, Beckett would have called them, wouldn't she?

"You want to get a drink?"

Kevin turned in his seat, looking at his partner in surprise.

"You look like shit," Javi said with a smirk. "I'm sure you could use a drink."

Kevin understood his partner was offering him an olive branch. He shook his head regretfully. "Beckett said she'd call. I… I can't miss that call."

Javi nodded, seemingly unsurprised by Kevin's refusal. "Next time."

"Yeah," Kevin smiled. "Next time."

Javi left, and Kevin continued waiting. His partner's small gesture of kindness had kindled a small measure of hope in him. The offer was such a relief that for a moment Kevin was able to see around the panic and guilt in his heart.

Footsteps echoed from the elevator, and Kevin turned to see Beckett walking toward him, looking very grave. Just like that, he was back in crisis mode.

"Why didn't you call?" he asked. "What's going on? Is she okay?"

The brunette took a seat at Javi's desk, and lay her hand on Kevin's arm. "I wanted to wait until we knew everything to call you, but then I decided it would be better to come talk to you in person."

Kevin knew firsthand that you spoke in person when you were about to deliver really bad news. He saw it in the set of Beckett's mouth, in the slight slouch of her shoulders. She had bad news.

"Kate," he said, "Is Alexis going to be alright?"

"She has mono. The doctor thinks she's had it for a couple weeks now. She's pretty sick, but they gave her some fluids and sent her home. With lots of rest she should make a full recovery."

Relief spread through him so fast he almost cried. It was just mono. She wasn't hurt. Alexis would be okay. "Jesus, you had me scared there for a minute," he said, resting a hand against his chest.

Beckett's expression softened for a moment, but she didn't smile. "You really care about her, don't you?"

"I've known her for a long time, and we were friends for a little while." He left it unspoken that their friendship ended with their misbegotten romantic entanglement. Beckett was astute enough to read between the lines. She probably knew more about his feelings for Alexis then he did.

"And since your friendship ended? You still care about her?"

"Beckett-"

"I won't tell Castle. I just need to know."

"Yeah," he said quietly. "I still care about her. Alexis means the world to me."

She nodded. "That's good."

Kevin noted the sad expression on his partner's face. "There's something else, isn't there?"

Kate sighed, "She's not okay, Kevin. She's had mono for two weeks but didn't see a doctor. That's why she collapsed, because she pushed herself so hard her body shut down. She's barely talking to Castle. She's lost weight. She's really sick, but she refuses to come back to the loft and let her family take care of her. She's punishing herself."

"Why?"

"I think you know why."

Of course. He sighed, resting his face in his hands. Of course she'd punish herself for sleeping with him. Of course she'd take all the blame when none of it belonged to her. Alexis was beautiful, brilliant, and so self-sacrificing that it made him a little sick. He should have seen it coming. He should have known she would react this way, that she'd cope with their mistake in the only way she knew how: by taking full responsibility.

"Kevin?"

He looked up, his eyes locking on Beckett's.

"You need to talk to her," she said.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm the one who put her in this situation in the first place. I can't help her. I'll just hurt her worse."

Beckett frowned at him. "You said you care about her."

"I care about her enough to stay away. It's for the best."

"You're the only one capable of understanding what she's going through right now."

"And it's my fault she's going through it at all."

She shook her head. "So you're just going to do nothing?"

"That's not-"

"And while Alexis is dealing with this situation all by herself, you'll be doing what? Feeling sorry for yourself? Calling yourself a bad guy and wallowing in self-loathing?"

Ouch. She really had him pegged. "Beckett-"

"You can't have it both ways, Ryan. You can't say Alexis means the world to you and then leave her alone when you're the only one who can help. So which one is it? Do you care about her or not?"

He stood up. "Christ, Beckett. Don't you get it? She doesn't want to see me. She's the one who broke it off."

"And you resent her for that." It wasn't a question.

"No. Yes," he sighed. "Can't Castle help her?" Alexis clearly thought he was more important than anything else.

"They barely talk. He's the only parent she's ever been able to count on, and he can't even look her in the eye right now."

He collapsed into his chair with a sigh. Kevin had assumed that once Alexis broke things off with him, she and Castle would go back to their almost too-close relationship. She'd been a good girl and followed Daddy's orders, so their lives could continue uninterrupted. Apparently that wasn't the case. "How am I supposed to face her?"

She patted his arm. "A peace offering wouldn't hurt."

"What if she doesn't want to talk to me?"

"She's pretty stubborn, but I think you can handle it. You two are alike that way."

He sighed, his stomach flipping over at the prospect of seeing her again. "I can't believe you're doing this."

She squeezed his hand, looking at him sadly. "I'm scared for her, Kevin."

He looked at his partner. Kevin could count on one hand the number of times Beckett had admitted to being afraid. "Okay." He nodded. "I'll talk to her. Just make sure Castle doesn't kill me while I'm trying."

* * *

Author's Note: Beckett's so wise. Maybe she can help these two figure this mess out.

Two updates in the same week! How much do you love this? Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. You are all amazing, and I am so thankful for your support. Please, please, please keep it up! I think I deserve a reward for updating so soon! ;)

Next time: Monofied Alexis + stupidly handsome Kevin + Popsicles = the most awkward get well soon visit ever.


	8. Eight

Wrecked

by

A.K. Hunter

Part Eight

* * *

This had to be what death felt like. Alexis had thought slowing down and resting would help her feel better. It didn't, really. It just gave her less ways to escape how lousy she felt.

Alexis lay on her couch, wrapped in enough blankets to keep a small army warm. Her textbooks lay on the coffee table, but she couldn't reach them. She couldn't bring herself to let even her arms leave the warm confines of her nest. Everything hurt, from the inside of her throat to her bones and muscles. Even her skin felt more sensitive.

Like most of the problems in her life, the mono had started on New Year's Eve. Drinks had been passed around and shared liberally at her small party that night—Alexis wasn't the only one who'd walked away from the party with the illness. Her phone pinged on the coffee table next to her books, and Alexis lifted her head just high enough to see her mother's name flash across the display. Meredith had said she'd come out to New York to help take care of her, but Alexis hoped her mother would get caught up in her glamorous Hollywood lifestyle and forget she had a daughter. Alexis just didn't have it in her to deal with her mother while so many other parts of her life were such a disaster.

Alexis turned on her side. Maybe she should just sleep. Sleep was how her body healed itself, right? As it turned out, sleep wouldn't be so easy to come by, and she gasped when she heard a knock at her door.

"Who the hell?" she muttered as she staggered over to her front door.

Her eyes widened when they landed on her visitor. Kevin Ryan stood on her doorstep, as handsome as ever in his three-piece suit. He held a grocery bag in his hand, and forced a smile when she opened the door.

"Hi."

"Hi," she rasped. What could he possibly be doing on her doorstep? She hadn't seen him since—

"Can I come in?"

"Why?"

He looked at her in confusion. He must not have expected that response. "I heard you're sick. I wanted to stop by and see how you're doing."

"Why?" God, she sounded like a broken record. "I mean, who told you?" It was no secret that things were tense with basically everyone who knew about their affair. She certainly couldn't see her dad telling him that she needed a well-wisher.

"Uh, Beckett."

She nodded, filing that little detail away for later. Beckett needed to mind her own business.

"I brought a couple things for you," he said, gesturing to the bag. He watched her carefully, and Alexis realized for the first time how terrible she must look to him. Why did he get to look stupidly handsome and she looked like some sort of swamp monster? Her eyes landed on his mouth for just a moment, and a tiny flame sputtered in her belly.

Alexis shook her head. "I appreciate the gesture, but I don't need her pity or yours." She shut the door in his face, muting his objection. Why had he come to her apartment? Hadn't he had enough? There had been radio silence for three weeks—and for good reason. She couldn't imagine why he would actually want to talk to the spineless nineteen-year-old responsible for ruining his marriage and friendships.

Seconds later, before she'd even made it back to the couch, the knocking started up again. She groaned. Should she just ignore it and hope that he'd go away?

"Alexis," he called through the door.

She muttered expletives as she crossed the distance to her front door, yanking it open and immediately feeling tired by the gesture. "What?" she snapped.

"Can I please come in? I think we should talk."

"Not interested." She tried to close the door, but he held out a hand, easily overpowering the light pressure she placed against it.

"Five minutes," he pleaded. "Just give me five minutes."

She leaned against the door frame, exhausted, but still unwilling to let him in. Couldn't they just go on with their lives, ignoring each other and pretending that it hadn't happened? He'd been furious with her. Why now did he decide to grace her wit his presence?

"Please?" he asked.

She was instantly thrown back to the last time he pleaded with her. Heat rose in her cheeks, and shame and anger mixed in her chest. How had she ended up being the angry, hurt one? He clearly wasn't as bothered by what had happened as she was. After all, he'd sought her out. He wanted to talk about it, like it was something that could be worked out, talked through. Like it hadn't torn a gaping hole in her heart.

"I can't do this right now."

"Three minutes," he said. "You don't even have to talk. Just listen, and then I'll leave you alone. I promise."

He looked so eager, so determined. She sighed, "And if I say no?"

"I'll keep coming back until you change your mind."

She rolled her eyes. "I thought you had better things to do than waste time on me." The words spilled out of her mouth, laced with bitterness, before she had even given them a second thought.

Kevin almost flinched at the vitriol. The smile he'd forced on his face crumpled, and for a brief moment she saw the depth of his regret. "Alexis…"

So he wasn't over it then. That didn't make her feel any better. How was she supposed to spend time with him—alone—when they were both clearly still recovering? A wave of chilling exhaustion pressed in on her, and she just kept her knees from buckling. Fine. She'd let him have this one. He'd already outlasted her. Alexis pushed her front door open, "Three minutes." She returned to her spot on the couch, too weak to remain standing. She hated that she'd given up so easily, but there wasn't much she could do about it. She didn't have it in her to fight with him anymore.

Kevin closed the door behind them and immediately headed to her kitchen to put the groceries away. "I brought you some Popsicles. They should help with your sore throat. Do you want one now?"

She lifted her tired head. "How did you know about my throat? Beckett tell you that too?"

"I read a bit about mono on the Internet."

"Oh."

"You want one? There's grape, cherry, or—"

"What did you want to talk about?" she interrupted. She couldn't understand why he was being so nice, and truthfully she didn't want to understand it. She just needed him to speak his piece and leave. She still couldn't look at him without hearing those cruel words, without feeling his hands move over her body as he tried to seduce her into staying with him.

His hands stilled for just a moment, and then he placed the Popsicles in the freezer and turned back to her. He watched her carefully, as if weighing his words. The concern and guilt in his eyes made her uncomfortable. Alexis tried to sit up straight, tried to make it look like she was much stronger than she actually felt.

"The clock's ticking," she reminded him.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "What happened between us—"

"Apology accepted," she said quickly, cutting him off. The sooner he got whatever he wanted to say off of his chest, the sooner he'd leave.

He frowned at her response. "Just like that."

"Yep."

"You don't even know what I was apologizing for."

She shrugged and winced at the dull pain that spread over her shoulders. "Whatever it was, I accept your apology. You can sleep easy tonight, Detective Ryan."

He crossed over to her, sitting about a foot away from her on the couch. The place that had started it all. She swallowed with some difficulty. A Popsicle actually sounded pretty good.

"Why are you being like this?" Kevin asked. "I'm trying to help you."

She sighed, leaning and resting her tired head in her hands. "What makes you possibly think I need your help?"

He hesitated. "You're sick... And I heard you're upset about what happened." It sounded more like a question than a statement. Alexis stared at him for a moment, trying to piece together the change in his demeanor. The last time she'd seen him, he'd thrown her out of her apartment. He was furious. He called her names. She thought she'd never see him again. Now, he just looked uncomfortable, and she wasn't terribly surprised. Guilt had a way of doing that to a person. There was concern in his expression, but he looked down at the floor before she could discover more. "I thought that talking about... things might help you feel better," he added.

"You really want to talk about it?" she asked.

His nod was less than believable, and the fact that he was in her apartment—pushing her to talk in some twisted attempt to help her when he clearly didn't even want to be there—made her blood boil. She wasn't his charity case. She hadn't asked him to come over. She hadn't even spoken to him since he'd kicked her out of his apartment. And she preferred it that way.

Since getting mono, Alexis had had a lot more time to think things over. Somewhere along the line, she'd thought it was okay to mess around with Kevin. She'd latched onto the fact that they were consenting adults and he clearly wanted her and had never asked herself why he was willing to get involved with her. Why he was willing to put his friendships and the last remnants of his marriage on the line to have a secret affair with her. It wasn't as if they'd ever been close. It chilled Alexis to think how long it could have dragged on if her father hadn't caught them. How long would it have taken her to wake up and realize that what she was doing was wrong? Yes, Kevin was sweet to her. Yes, his ability to make her weak in the knees was unparalleled. Yes, his marriage was in trouble before she'd started sleeping with him. But none of those things made it okay. What if she had ruined his partnerships? What if, without her interference, he and Jenny would have worked things out? Had she deprived him of a happy future? She'd been so naive, simply getting caught up in the rush of desire and being desired, that she'd been blind to the consequences.

What Kevin didn't understand was that Alexis didn't need to talk about it. She'd already become too familiar with her greatest mistake, talking about it only made things worse. They didn't need to rehash the past—they needed to stay far, far away from each other so that hopefully they'd each have a future.

"Okay," she said. She'd play along, but he'd lose in the end. "Which part do you want to talk about? The fact that I was stupid enough to start a sexual relationship with a married man eleven years older than me?"

His eyes widened.

"Or would you rather talk about how you demeaned me when I tried to make things right?"

"Alexis—"

"I know," she said brightly. "Let's talk about your divorce. How's that going? Do you miss Jenny very much? Or have you found another distraction?"

Red patches appeared on his cheekbones. "That topic is not open for discussion."

"Right. I understand. It's not easy to look around at your own life and see how unhappy you've made yourself, is it? Maybe you should have just had kids with her. All of this could have been avoided."

He shook his head. "You told me I deserved to be happy."

"And you're obviously happy now, right?"

"I was." His words made her resolve stutter for just one moment.

"You were self-medicating," she said quietly. "That's not happiness."

His expression softened as he watched her. "It sure felt like happiness."

"It wasn't real."

He moved closer, perching himself just outside her nest of blankets. "I know how I felt. I—"

She held up her hands. "Stop it."

"Alexis, you deserve to be happy too."

No, she didn't. Not after what she'd done to him—to both of them. "You should have stayed with her. You should have given her what she wanted, and you should have never come to my apartment."

"You don't mean that."

Her voice took on a sharp edge. She needed him to understand. She needed him to stay away from her. "Just think, Kevin—blonde kids with big blue eyes, the picket fence, a beautiful, perfect wife. You could have had it all."

"I wasn't ready." His voice had taken on a frustrated, panicked quality.

"You shouldn't have thrown it all away."

Her words shattered in the air around them, cutting where they fell. They'd been carefully calculated to hurt, and she could see from the look on his face that she'd accomplished her goal. She thrown his fear and insecurities—the same feelings he'd been carrying and agonizing over since before she'd even considered what it would be like to kiss him—back in his face. It was over. He wouldn't be coming around anymore.

With a ragged breath and an empty expression, Kevin stood up. "I hope you feel better," he mumbled.

Her front door slammed shut moments later, and she sank back into her blankets. The mantra she'd been playing over and over in her head since leaving his apartment on New Year's Day flashed into her mind, rested on the tip of her tongue.

It was better this way.

* * *

Author's Note: My goal was to update this story twice in July, and I just barely pulled it off. Phew. I really struggled with this one, so I hope you all like it. Please, please, please review—did I mention it's my birthday? ;)

Next time: It's Kevin's turn to face uncomfortable truths, and Paris is just on the horizon.


	9. Nine

Wrecked

By:

A.K. Hunter

Part Nine

* * *

"Thanks for meeting with me," Kevin said, taking a seat across from his ex-wife in the uncomfortable plastic diner booth.

"I've got to say I'm surprised," Jenny answered. "I honestly didn't expect to ever see you again."

"Yeah, well, things fell apart really fast, didn't they?" He still had a hole in the wall of his apartment from when she'd thrown a lamp at him to prove it. That fight, a product of Kevin confessing to Jenny that he didn't know if he wanted the future she was counting on, had set into motion the sequence of events that had brought them to that diner and in two months they'd gone from the outwardly perfect couple to divorced strangers.

Jenny glanced down at the lukewarm coffee in front of her. "I guess part of that's my fault."

"No, none of it's your fault—" Kevin began.

"So what did you want to talk about? Don't tell me you've changed your mind." Her voice betrayed a small amount of hope, but her eyes remained locked on the mug.

Kevin wasn't sure how to begin. He'd taken Alexis' words to heart and had spent the last few weeks forcing himself to examine his life and his recent choices. He wasn't surprised to find that he missed Jenny, but he was surprised that he didn't regret being honest with her. She'd been his significant other a few years; Kevin had been an idiot to believe that he was over her so quickly. Part of him wished that he could be the person Jenny wanted him to be—everything would have been so much easier if that was the case. But an even bigger part of him was relieved to be free of those expectations. "Do you regret marrying me?"

Her eyebrows rose. "I don't think now is the best time to ask that question."

Kevin sighed, "Right."

"But… I've had a lot of time to think about it recently, and I should have known that things wouldn't work out between us."

"Why?"

"That moment when you said you might never want children with me made me realize that all this time I've been waiting for you to turn into the version of Kevin Ryan that I want you to be. I want a big family. I want to be married to someone who doesn't risk his life every day at work. I wanted my husband to be home by five and to spend the weekends with his family. And I don't think you ever wanted those things."

It made a sad sort of sense. For years he'd been torn between what he wanted and what Jenny wanted for him. "We were good for a while, weren't we? It wasn't all bad with me?"

Jenny shook her head. "No. It was mostly good, actually. You're a great guy, Kevin, you really are. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you—that I don't love you—but I can't wait around for you to be someone you're not. It's not fair to either of us. I should have realized that sooner."

"I still love you, too." It was the truth. For years, he'd thought Jenny was his future. And even though that future looked different to her, too different for them to reconcile, he still cared about her.

"But?"

"But you're right," Kevin sighed. "We don't want the same things. And while I may want kids in the future, I'm ninety-nine percent certain that I'll never want to stop being a cop."

"I know."

He reached across the table, gently squeezing her hand. "I'm sorry I disappointed you. I—I know it seems like I just derailed things and left, but I please believe I never meant to hurt you. I really do hope you find someone who can give you everything you want."

"I know you didn't," she said with a sad smile. Her phone pinged. "I've got to get to work, Kev."

"Alright. Thanks for meeting with me." He stood up and kissed her cheek. "Good luck, Jenny."

"You too. I hope," she stopped herself, a rueful smile on her face that didn't quite reach her eyes. "I hope that when you find someone else, she can love you for who you really are. And I also hope she's not as pretty as me." She smiled shyly at her joke, and Kevin found himself laughing out loud, because there was nothing more painful than imaging someone you love—and just can't be with—with someone else. When he'd been distracted by a certain redhead, the thought of Jenny moving on hadn't bothered him so much. Alexis was right; he'd been self-medicating.

Kevin watched her walk away, feeling both discomfort and relief as the distance between them grew wider. He made himself stay in his place and finish his cold coffee. It really was better this way, even though it hurt. Even though he hated to fail at anything, especially being a husband. He checked his phone, deciding to head into work himself. He'd told Espo that he might be late, but things had gone smoother with Jenny than he'd thought they would. She was more forgiving than he'd given her credit for, and it seemed like she genuinely did want to move on to better things. She hadn't lost sight of the life she wanted.

Kevin, on the other hand, had no idea what to do next.

He noticed a flower vendor on his way to the precinct, and made a split-second decision. It had been weeks since he'd left Alexis' apartment, hurt and confusion shadowing each of his steps. He'd been respecting her wishes and staying away, and that distance had forced him to become a lot more self-aware. He may not know what his perfect future looked like, but he knew he'd regret not making things right with Alexis. He already had enough regrets; he wasn't about to add losing her friendship to the list.

* * *

"So there's this old movie I want to watch with you. How do you feel about giving up your Thursday nights to your dad again?"

Alexis was enjoying a late-morning cup of coffee with her father at her apartment. She grinned, some of the weight lifting off of her shoulders at his offer. "I'd love to, but we'll have to start again next week. This Thursday I have plans with my friend Sara to go see a lecture on campus."

"Sounds fun," Castle deadpanned.

"I think so," she said with a small smile.

Castle's phone started ringing. "Beckett," he explained, putting the phone to his ear.

"Tell her I said hi."

After weeks of tension and silence, Alexis and her father were trying to move forward. He still couldn't talk about what had happened, even though she'd tried more than once to clear the air. But Alexis was content to ignore the elephant in the room a little longer if it meant her father started respecting her again. "Got a murder?" she asked when he ended the call.

"Looks like it."

"Well, thanks for coming over. It was good to see you."

Castle's arms slid around her, hugging her tightly. "You too." Alexis hadn't realized quite how much she'd missed his hugs.

"Call me later?" he asked, heading to the front door.

"Of course. I can't wait to hear about your latest case."

A knock at the door stopped Castle's exit, and a delivery boy brandished a large bouquet of yellow roses. "Oh."

"I didn't know you had an admirer, honey."

Alexis looked at the card, her eyes scanning over the message, anchoring on the name at the bottom. "They're from one of the guys in my classes," she lied.

"Ah, well, I'd like to meet this guy someday."

"I'm sure you will. Bye dad. Be safe."

Castle left, and Alexis locked the door behind her before picking up the card once again. Her fingertips caressed the soft flower petals.

_Alexis,_

_You were right about everything, and I'm so sorry for the way I treated you. You're one of the most amazing people I've ever known. I was lucky to have your friendship and trust, and I can only hope to earn them back someday. _

_I wish you the best._

_—Kevin_

Alexis glanced at the flowers and then at the card again. She pulled out her phone, unable to make the call she desperately wanted to. She should call him, shouldn't she? Or were things too far gone? Was it better to not engage? Maybe she could send him a thank you note?

Alexis sighed. The flowers were almost staring at her with expectation. She picked up her coat, heading to see the one person with whom she could have an honest conversation about her greatest mistake.

* * *

"What's wrong, kiddo?"

Alexis glanced down at her hands, which were shaking from her third cup of coffee that morning. "I'm sure you heard about what happened with Kev—with Detective Ryan."

"Your father did mention that."

"Do you think I'm a whore, too?"

"Your father doesn't think that."

"He's disappointed."

"He's worried," Martha corrected. "He doesn't want to see you hurt."

Alexis sighed, her heart sinking. "It's too late for that."

Martha watched her granddaughter for a moment. "You miss him." It wasn't a question.

"It's so stupid. I mean, we had this fleeting little tryst that barely lasted more than a few days altogether, and I miss him. How is that even possible?"

"Stranger things have happened than falling for a handsome detective."

"You mean having an affair with a married man?"

"Call it what you like, but the fact remains that he's free now and you still want him. What are you waiting for?"

Alexis shook her head. "How can we ever be happy together with the way things started? What kind of relationship is built on lies and sneaking around and meaningless sex?"

"I have a feeling that if your time together was truly only about those things, you and I wouldn't be having this conversation."

She was silent for a moment. Alexis had hoped her grandmother would advise her to do the right and hard thing—giving Kevin up—rather than going after him. Somehow pursuing what she really wanted was so much harder than cutting her losses. "So what do I do then? After all the damage we've caused, it's not like he's going to want to try again."

Martha shrugged. "Perhaps not, but you won't know until you talk to him. And I can tell you from experience that there is nothing worse than wondering how things might have been different if you'd been brave enough to ask for what you want."

Her grandmother's advice rang in Alexis' head long after she'd taken her leave. Alexis stopped on a park bench, watching families and couples and joggers pass her by. Her and Kevin's relationship had been the most exquisite and disastrous experience of her life. How could she possibly want more? Things had only just started to get back to normal. Was she ready to throw all of that progress away?

Her eyes landed on a couple walking hand in hand. The expression on their faces made her heart constrict. Despite all her cold logic and newly enforced morals, Alexis did miss Kevin. She glanced at her phone, her thumb hovering over the name in her contact list that she wanted to talk to most. With a deep breath, she pressed it and held her phone to her ear.

"It's me. I'm ready to talk now, if you're up for it."

* * *

Author's Note: Baby steps all around!

I hope you guys liked this. I've really been struggling with this story lately, so I'd love to hear your input.

Just FYI, the amazing JJS4 and I have been collaborating on a new Rylexis story called_ Partnered_. Here's the summary: "After his partner is taken off active duty, Kevin Ryan is stuck with rookie detective Alexis Castle. He thinks she's a spoiled brat, and she's not very impressed with him either. When a near-fatal mistake causes their work and personal lives to collide, Kevin and Alexis discover that first impressions are often deceiving. Inspired by 'The Time of Our Lives.'"

The first chapter will go live Friday, August 21. We love the story sooooo much, and we can't wait to share it with you all.

Next time: Kevin and Alexis try to move forward.


	10. Ten

Wrecked

by:

A.K. Hunter

Part Ten

* * *

Kevin hadn't been so nervous in years—not since he'd proposed to Jenny. His fingers tapped impatiently on the side of his coffee mug. He'd gotten decaf, hoping that it would keep him from getting too keyed up. It was just coffee, he reminded himself. Nothing more. Kevin used to think he was cool and collected around women, but that was clearly not the case where Alexis Castle was concerned.

He had meant every word of the short letter he'd written to her. He wanted to make things right; he wanted to earn her trust back. Even if she never wanted to be with him in any romantic capacity ever again, he still owed it to her to make amends.

The bell over the door to the coffee shop jingled as she walked in. She placed her order at the counter and then glanced around the restaurant. Heat spread over her face when she locked eyes with him and he gulped. He'd been in the middle of a case when she'd called, so they'd had to delay their meeting until things settled down a bit. Alexis had been in the back of his mind that entire time, and he'd spent all of his few moments preparing himself. Two days later, she was standing in front of him at a coffee shop equidistant from her apartment and the precinct and Kevin had never felt more out of his depth.

"Hi."

"Hey," he responded.

She hovered indecisively.

"Do you want to sit—"

"Do you mind if I sit down?" she asked. She blushed again at their awkward interruption, and he tugged at the collar of his shirt. It was suddenly too warm for him. Finally, she sat across from him, and a barista placed her drink in front of her.

"Thanks," Alexis said with a smile. Kevin found himself irrationally jealous of the barista. Alexis hadn't smiled at him in far too long.

"How are you?" he asked, pulling her attention back onto him.

"Better. The mono is gone, thank God." She glanced down at her drink. "I never thanked you for the Popsicles. They really did help a lot."

"I'm glad." And he was. He'd almost been frightened by how sick she looked. If she hadn't been so determined to push him away, if she hadn't know the exact combination of words to make him keep his distance, he might have tried to take care of her. As it was, the small comfort a box of Popsicles brought to her gave him a lot of relief.

Silence set in, and Kevin took a gulp of the decaf, more to give him something to do with his hands.

"How are things with you?" she asked, almost cringing at the question.

"Better," he echoed with a small smile.

"That's good."

"You were right," he said suddenly. He couldn't stand the awkward small talk.

"About what?"

"Me, Jenny, you and I—Everything."

A crease appeared between her eyebrows. "So you're going to try to make up with her?" She didn't sound too pleased with the prospect.

"No–I'm not. That future doesn't exist any more. We want different things, and in this case there's no compromise."

"So you're not getting back together?"

He shook his head. "But you were right. I used our," he paused, trying to find the right word, "relationship to distract me from the divorce and how I really felt about it."

Alexis stirred her coffee for a minute, processing his words. "How do you feel about it?"

"Jenny and I were together for a long time. We were happy for a long time. I miss that. I miss the people we used to be and the relationship we used to have. But I'm also relieved because things weren't working, and I we would have made each other very unhappy for a very long time. That Irish-Catholic guilt," he said with a small smile. "I think, if you hadn't come along when you did, Jenny and I probably would have stayed together in that broken marriage for a long time. So I guess I should thank you for that."

She looked at him in disbelief. "You're thanking me for ruining your marriage?"

He reached across the table, taking her hand in his. "My marriage was broken long before you came into the picture. I'm thanking you for teaching me that I deserve to be happy—that it's okay to stand by what I want."

"So then what do you want?" she asked.

"A lot of things. But I want to know what you think about all of this, and what you want, because that's what's most important."

Not for the first time, Kevin wished he could know what was going through Alexis' head. With each bit of information he revealed, she seemed to draw into herself more as she mulled things over. She stared at her coffee like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Finally, she looked up at him. "I want to start over."

"Start over?" he asked, hoping she didn't mean what he thought she meant. He'd be her friend, her acquaintance, if that was all she ever wanted, but if Kevin was being honest with himself, he wanted more.

"We really made a mess of things, and I don't think we can pretend none of that ever happened. But," she took a deep breath, "I like having you around, Kevin."

"I like having you around, too."

"So can we just start over?"

"As friends?"

She bit her lip. "Is that what you want?"

"I'll take whatever you can give me—for now. But for the record, no. I don't just want to be your friend."

She blushed. "I don't just want to be your friend either."

A stupid grin spread over his face. It was more than he could have hoped for; she was giving him a second chance. "So what's next?" he asked.

"Well—"

His phone rang, interrupting their conversation. It was Beckett. How did she always have the worst timing? He took the call, promising to get to the scene as soon as he could.

"Got a case?" she asked.

"Looks like it." He ran a hand through his hair. "How about dinner Thursday night?"

"Are you asking me on a date?"

"I'm asking you to have dinner with me—no strings attached."

She smiled shyly, and his heart beat in double time. "I'd like that. I'm going to see a lecture with a friend at six, but I'm free afterward."

He leaned down, briefly kissing her cheek. God, she smelled amazing. "I'll see you then."

* * *

Alexis' stomach was doing flip-flops as she sat through the post-lecture Q&amp;A with her friend Sara. The guest lecture was on climate change—a topic Alexis was normally very fascinated with—but all she could do was count down to her dinner with Kevin. Her phone buzzed, and she checked the text message.

"Hey, beautiful. I'm going to be stuck at the precinct a little longer. Do you mind meeting me at the restaurant?"

Unable to hide the grin on her face, Alexis quickly texted him back. They had planned for him to pick her up from the lecture, but she didn't mind the change in plans. "No problem. I'll see you then." She stashed her phone in her purse, almost bouncing with nervous, excited energy.

When Gram had told her to be honest about what she wanted, Alexis had prepared herself for disappointment. She'd never expected Kevin to feel the same way, and she couldn't stop herself from over-analyzing the situation. What did it mean? What was the next step for them?

By the time the Q&amp;A was over, her program had been methodically folded and torn into tiny pieces in her lap.

Sara walked with her out of the lecture hall. "What are you so worked up about? Got a hot date?"

Alexis fought back a smile. "Kind of."

They walked to the curb, waiting for the crosswalk. "Wow. You have it bad for this guy," Sara said.

"What? I do not!" Was she really that obvious?

"You're a terrible liar. I'm expecting you to tell me all about it tomor—"

A large van pulled around the corner, screeching to a halt right in front of them. Before Alexis could even process it, the door slid open and two men jumped out, heading straight for them. One of them grabbed Sara, dragging her into the van even as she tried to fight him. Alexis backed up and reached for her phone, but it was knocked out of her hands along with her purse. The man grabbed her first by her arm and then by her hair, roughly dragging her into the van, clapping a cloth-covered hand over her mouth when she tried to scream. A sickly sweet scent filled her nose, and the world tilted on its side. She fought against her captor, growing weaker with each second.

She tried to beg; she tried to scream; she tried to plead for mercy, but the words were too heavy and they never left her lips.

Sprawled on the dirty floor of the van, the world slipping from her grasp, a pair of warm blue eyes appeared in her mind. Alexis held onto that image, her last anchor, and then, with another chemical-laced breath, she tumbled into darkness.

* * *

Author's Note: I really hope you guys enjoyed this. :)

Next time: Alexis is gone, and Kevin is _pissed_.


	11. Eleven

Wrecked

by

A.K. Hunter

Part Eleven

* * *

For nearly two hours, he waited. He'd watched the door to the restaurant; he'd called and texted her; he'd ignored the discomfort in the pit of his stomach and the voice in his head that said Alexis was bailing on him—that she'd changed her mind about him, about them.

One hundred and seven minutes after he'd arrived at the restaurant, Kevin Ryan gave up. He left the bouquet of roses on the table. Maybe one of the wait staff at the restaurant would enjoy them. He slumped into the driver's seat and checked his text messages once more.

8:30 p.m.: Hey beautiful, I've got a table for us inside. I can't wait to see you.

8:41 p.m.: Guess your lecture went late. Want me to order for you?

9:07 p.m.: Alexis, will you please call me back? I'm starting to worry.

9:23 p.m.: Are you okay? Did something happen? Please call me.

10:06 p.m.: You're not coming, are you?

Kevin sighed and pressed his phone to his ear, calling her one last time. After ringing several times, the call went to her voicemail, just like he knew it would. "Hi Alexis," he said, trying to keep his tone light despite his disappointment. "It's me again. You're probably sick of hearing from me by now. When you have a second, would you please call me back? I think I know why you didn't show tonight, and that's okay. It's okay if you changed your mind about us. But... will you call me anyway? Or text me. I just want to make sure you're okay. Umm... have a good night. Bye." He hung up the phone and rested his head in his hands.

He'd thought that they were moving forward. He'd thought that her feelings for him were stronger than her reservations about getting involved with an older man. He'd thought that after their mistakes and missteps, they had a chance to see if they could be genuinely happy together.

He was wrong.

Kevin put his car in gear and drove home alone, haunted by the radio silence from the woman he most wanted to talk to.

* * *

Another day, another murder.

Kevin stood in front of the murder board, going over what they knew about Hasim Farouk, their latest victim, and Sara El-Masri, whose kidnapping had been connected to the murder. It was an unusually complex case, for which Kevin was selfishly grateful. The more complex the case, the higher the stakes involved, the less mental energy he had to expend on the young woman who had stood him up the night before.

It was probably for the best that Alexis had decided to stay away. When Castle and Beckett had arrived at the scene that morning, Kevin had had a moment of resentment toward the writer. Kevin overheard Castle talking about how he had accepted that Alexis was an adult and that he was giving her all the space she needed. That he was letting her fly away from the nest. If only the writer had been so zen about his daughter's choices a couple months earlier, Kevin wouldn't have ended up with a bloody nose and a broken heart.

Kevin and Castle had reached a sort of truce, and in the months since the detective's relationship with Alexis had been revealed, the two men had learned to work together again. There was a good chance that starting something with Alexis again would just hurt all the progress they'd made. It was probably better that she'd changed her mind about Kevin. At least, that was what he kept telling himself.

His phone rang. Beckett. She and Castle had gone to lower Manhattan to see if Sara had attended the climate change lecture at the Beaumont Hotel, the same lecture Alexis had attended the night before. If Sara had been there, maybe Alexis would be able to offer some insight into their case. When he'd narrowed down all the "science" events Sara's roommate had described, he'd considered asking Alexis if she knew anything about Sara El-Masri. But that scenario would require Alexis to answer his calls. Plus, he'd have a hard time explaining to Castle how he knew where Alexis was the night before. What a goddamn mess.

He put the phone to his ear. "Hey, Beckett. What did you find out?"

"Kevin," she began, her voice sounding all wrong. She had bad news, bad news that affected him personally. "There's been a new development... It's about Alexis."

In an instant, all of the pieces clicked together.

Alexis had promised to meet him at the restaurant. She'd seemed so excited about the prospect of having dinner with him. And then she'd never shown up. She hadn't called or texted to explain, and she wouldn't even pick up the phone when he tried to contact her. Despite the fact that she'd been brave enough to break things off with him and later talk about the future in person, he'd assumed she was bailing on him. He'd assumed that she'd gotten cold feet again and wasn't considerate enough to tell him the truth.

She'd told him she was attending a lecture with a friend, the same lecture that another Columbia student was likely abducted from.

He was so fucking stupid.

"Sara El-Masri didn't attend the lecture alone. She left the Beaumont with another girl her age... Kevin—"

"Alexis is gone," he finished in a whisper.

"She was kidnapped with Sara."

The air was kicked out of him as he struggled to wrap his mind around his new reality. Alexis, his Alexis... She was gone, missing, caught up in the same conspiracy that had resulted in a murder.

"Kevin?" Beckett prompted.

"Ryan, what's the matter?" Javi asked him. His partner must have noticed the shock on his face.

Kevin wordlessly passed the phone to Esposito and walked out of the bullpen.

He tried to calm himself. He tried to think clearly, to let his mind focus on the mystery in front of him. He couldn't.

All he could do was imagine Alexis, afraid and alone, in the wrong place at the wrong time. Was she hurt? What did those bastards want with her? What did they have planned for her?

He should have been there. He should have protected her. He shouldn't have let work get in the way of being there when she'd needed him most.

Kevin gripped the edge of the sink. He'd splashed some water on his face in an attempt to calm down. It didn't help. All he could do was imagine her in the worst of scenarios as panic filled the space between heartbeats.

The door to the men's room swung open.

"Hey."

Kevin saw his partner behind him in the mirror.

"I've updated the Feds on the case. Castle and Beckett are on their way back." Esposito came a little closer, then added. "Beckett said he's in bad shape."

"It's Alexis," Kevin answered, his voice almost breaking on her name. "He's gotta be wrecked." He glanced up, meeting his partner's eyes in the mirror. "Hell, I'm wrecked."

"I know, bro."

"Javi," Kevin said quietly. He knew it was best to be discreet about his plans with Alexis, but he couldn't stop the confession that poured out of him. "I was supposed to pick her up from the Beaumont last night. We had dinner plans. I was supposed to be there for her and—"

"It's not your fault."

"I could have stopped it. I could have protected her."

"Or you could have ended up dead. Just like Farouk." Espo rested his hand on his partner's shoulder. "Kev, you can't do this to yourself. There's no way to know what would have happened."

Kevin was silent for a moment. "Why are you trying to make me feel better about this?"

"I know I wasn't the most supportive when I found out about all of this... But things have changed. You're not lying to yourself anymore. I saw your face when Beckett told you the news. You really care about Alexis, don't you?"

"I do," Kevin said. "She means the world to me." He'd never really told her the depths of his feelings. What if he never got another chance?

Espo nodded. "But right now we've gotta put all of that aside and find her. Can you do that?"

"Javi—"

"Can you do that?" His partner prompted. "For Alexis?"

He had to. He'd never be able to love with himself if he didn't find her. After a moment, Kevin sighed. "Yeah. I can do that."

"Good. First thing, we need to find that van."

Kevin nodded, his racing heart slowing as his mind focused on the case in front of him. "Traffic cams can help us track it down. If we find that van, we find Alexis."

* * *

Paris. She was in Paris.

Alexis literally couldn't believe her eyes. The Eiffel Tower was maybe a mile away, mocking her. She knew she wasn't in New York anymore, but she'd never imagined that she'd woken up in another country, much less a different continent.

Traffic and people swarmed on the ground at least ten stories below her. She glanced around the edge of the roof, looking for some way out. A ladder, a fire escape. Hell, she'd jump the gap to a nearby building if she had to. There was nothing. No way out. She was trapped.

She approached the edge of the building, her eyes locking on the pedestrians below, and a sad prayer of a chance appeared in her mind. She drew in breath to scream. "Hel—"

A calloused hand clapped over her mouth, and she was tossed to the unforgiving cement once more. She saw the faces of her captors, the same men who had forced her and Sara into the van. She scrambled to her feet, but one of the men grabbed her by her arm, twisting it behind her back, screaming at her in a language she didn't understand. She saw one of the men pull another rag out of his pocket, and fear turned her absolutely feral.

Alexis lashed out, kicking at her captor, biting, scratching, and thrashing when he tried to get a firm hold on her. "Let me go!" she screamed.

He forced her to her knees and roughly yanked her head back by her tangled hair. Alexis saw another man pull his arm back and then stars erupted behind her eyes as his fist collided with her cheekbone. She went limp, her captor allowing her to collapse face-first onto the cement.

Head spinning, face pounding, Alexis faintly registered her arms being secured behind her back before that familiar chemical scent washed over her. This time, she didn't fight the darkness that closed in. She embraced it like an old friend.

Darkness was a hell of a lot better than her new reality.

* * *

Author's Note: So sorry this took so long. I completely underestimated how much you guys enjoy this story. I hope you enjoyed the newest update.

Shout out to Molly'sSister, who binge read this story in one day and reviewed every single chapter. Thank you so much!


	12. Twelve

Wrecked

by

A.K. Hunter

Part Twelve

* * *

Alexis wasn't there.

They'd been through hell over the last several days, tracking the girls all the way to Paris, then brokering a hostage negotiation, and when they finally got a break, when it finally seemed like things might turn out okay, the kidnappers released Sara, but Alexis was nowhere in sight.

The kidnappers had gotten their ransom. They'd gotten what they'd wanted and they'd cut Sara loose. Alexis was no longer of use to them either. As they watched the footage of Sara being released, understanding what it meant that Alexis wasn't with them, Kevin's mind began to spin worst-case scenarios.

Had she been killed? Had she been sold off as part of some human trafficking purchase? The thought made him sick, but the truth was, if they didn't need Alexis anymore, they'd either remove her from the equation entirely or find another way to profit off of her. It was criminal economics 101.

He still couldn't believe she'd ended up in Paris of all places. The thought made him sick with helplessness. Paris was so far out of their jurisdiction that their chances of finding Alexis had narrowed to almost zero.

Kevin recognized the look of complete despair in Castle's eyes as they realized that they no longer had a way to get Alexis back. He was probably wearing the same expression himself. He watched Castle walk to the elevator, completely numb. Kevin turned to his desk, looking through their leads—an automatic reaction—and then he realized that there were none. They were back at square one. Alexis was gone, lost somewhere in Europe, smuggled out of the country with little chance of being found ever again.

What the hell were they supposed to do? Kevin kicked his chair over as the realization began to set in. He might never see Alexis again. He might never see her smile or hear her laugh. He might never get to kiss her again. He might never get the chance to tell her he—

"Ryan," Javi stopped him. "Go home. We'll figure this out."

"I need to finish the case."

"You need to get your head on straight. Go home."

Kevin didn't bother arguing, and soon left the precinct. But he didn't go home. He couldn't go there, waiting anxiously, helplessly for a miracle. He wandered the streets for a while, his mind spinning, shock setting in. He stumbled as he collided with someone, and Kevin realized his feet had carried him to the loft. Castle stood in front of him, a packed bag over his shoulder and a passport in his hand.

"Where are you going?" Kevin asked.

"Where do you think?"

"Wait, Castle, you're going to Paris? How are you going to find her?"

"I have my ways. Don't tell Beckett until I'm gone." Castle pushed past him, heading to the elevator.

Kevin paused for a moment, then turned around. "I'm going with you."

"What?"

"You could use some backup. You have no idea what you're getting into or what you'll find there."

"Neither do you."

"Castle, listen, I can't just sit around and wait—"

"Haven't you done enough already?"

The hostility in the writer's tone brought Kevin up short. "Excuse me?"

"I saw the text messages, Ryan. I thought I told you to stay away from her." Castle jammed his thumb against the button on the elevator, willing it to open faster.

This was the first time in months that they'd spoken outside of a case. In the shock of Alexis being abducted, Kevin hadn't even considered that Castle might still be holding a grudge. Rather than back down, Kevin's hackles raised. He wasn't going to let the writer steamroll him this time. "No, you told her to stay away from me. She was happy with me, Castle, and you convinced her to break things off."

"And that was the right decision to make. What can you possibly offer my daughter?" He stopped onto the elevator, and Kevin followed on his heels.

"A lot of things—"

"You're a thirty-one-year-old divorcee. You slept with my daughter while you were still married to another woman. Can you see why I have doubts?"

"I'm in love with your daughter," Kevin insisted. "And I'm not going to hurt her again."

"In love?" Castle scoffed. "You barely know each other."

Kevin stopped the elevator, ignoring the emergency bell. "I know that she's one of the strongest, kindest, most intelligent, _beautiful_ women I've ever met. I know what love feels like, Castle, and I'm not going to let you run me off again. She gave me a second chance; I'm not going anywhere. And I'm not going to let you risk your life to find her alone. You need help."

The writer resumed the elevator's passage to the ground floor. "No, you're not. Stay here in New York where you belong. I'm going to find her, and I'm going to bring her home. We'll talk about all the reasons why you're not good enough for her when I get back." Castle stepped off the elevator, leaving Kevin in the dust.

Kevin watched him walk away, his heart sinking at Castle's refusal to trust or respect him and the lost opportunity to help find her.

His phone pinged. It was a message from Javi, updating him on the case. Kevin closed the text message, then opened up his photos. Alexis was grinning back at him, a spot of whipped cream on her cheek from their breakfast-turned-lovemaking. A sharp pressure settled over his heart as he tried to imagine his life without her, either because she was never found or because Castle once again kept them apart.

Alexis loved her dad. Kate had made a good point that Castle was the only parent Alexis had ever known. They were like two peas in a pod. And Kevin would never—could never—make her choose between them. If Castle didn't come around to Kevin's side, Kevin and Alexis would simply never be together.

There was really only one thing he could do.

Kevin opened up his browser and bought a one-way ticket to Paris.

* * *

Kevin was not liking the situation in front of him one bit. On his way to the airport, he'd called Beckett and informed her of Castle's intent to rescue Alexis. The writer was already in the air, so Kate couldn't persuade him otherwise. She'd agreed to track him via his cell phone, allowing Kevin to find him just as he got into a car with a strange man and a terribly conspicuous briefcase. Didn't Castle realize what a target he was making himself?

Kevin got into a cab, instructing the driver in a pathetic excuse for French to follow the car that Castle was in. His phone rang just outside the city limits. It was Beckett. "Hey, I'm following him out of the city and—"

"Ryan, Alexis was the target all along."

Beckett's voice chilled him to the bone.

"What? How is that possible?"

"I don't know, but I have a bad feeling about all of this."

Kevin saw the car slow and take a turn up ahead to a wooded area. "I've gotta go." He paid the cabbie an astonishing amount of Euros, trying not to think about how much he had ended up shelling out in American dollars, then got out of the car and followed the tracks on foot. About half a mile into the woods, he came upon the car he'd been following, along with an SUV. Kevin hid behind the crest of the hill, watching as Castle got out of the car, holding the briefcase. The Frenchman followed close behind.

"Where's Alexis?" he heard Castle say. "I don't see her."

The man and Castle started to walk toward the SUV, and Kevin froze as Castle's escort pulled out a gun. A group of men got out of the SUV. Castle hesitated, then backed up. "No, no, no. This isn't right. It's not right." Castle backed right up into his escort's gun.

"Don't move," the man snarled, then spoke to the group from the SUV in French.

"You're selling me out? Why?" Castle demanded.

"I value my life more than my word," the man answered. "If I had known who was really holding your daughter, who your daughter really is, I never would have taken the job."

"She's nobody," Castle insisted as a masked man began to pull him away. They took the briefcase out of Castle's hands, then shoved him onto the ground. "Ow! Wait, okay, wait. Just—what do you want?" One of the men raised his gun and pointed it at Castle.

Kevin couldn't watch any longer. He might be out of his jurisdiction, and it might be him and Castle against what looked like a lot of armed men, but he wasn't about to let his friend be murdered right in front of him. Kevin pulled his seldom-used personal gun out of its holster and crossed over the crest of the hill. "Nobody move!" He pointed it directly at the gunman.

The man Castle had come to the forest with aimed his gun at Kevin, ready to pull the trigger. Shots rang out through the forest, and Kevin's eyes slammed shut. When he opened them, surprised to find that he was still alive, he saw dead bodies strewn all over the ground. He and Castle were the only ones still standing. They made eye contact, shock mirrored on their faces.

A man dressed in black came from behind the trees, and Kevin's gun trained on him as Castle scrambled backwards.

"Ah, ah, ah," the man said. He glanced up at Kevin, "You'll put that away if you know what's good for you. If I'd wanted you dead, you'd be dead."

All at once, Kevin recognized the man in front of him. "You're the guy in the sketch. You were at the farmhouse."

"That's right," he answered, then looked at Castle. "Your friend there was pretty good. A bit out of his league. I am not surprised he crossed to the other side." The man took the keys from the dead man's body.

"You know what's going on here? You—you know where my daughter is?" Castle asked, quickly shifting from frightened to hopeful.

"Look, we're exposed her. We gotta go. Now," the man answered. He opened the door to the driver's side of the car.

"Go? What are you talking about? Go where?"

"Somewhere safe. Get in the car."

Kevin shook his head, coming to stand next to Castle. "No, not until you tell us what's going on."

Castle's phone rang, and he immediately answered. "Beckett. I am so glad you called."

The man crossed over to them, took Castle's phone, threw it in the air, and shot it.

"What are you doing?" the writer demanded. "That was a two-hundred dollar phone!"

"That's how they track you. You can call her back with Detective Ryan's phone when we get somewhere safe. Now get in the car." He turned and walked away.

"How do know my name?" Kevin demanded. His gun was still out.

"Oh, don't be an idiot. I'm the good guy."

"You expect us to trust you?" Castle asked.

"You're still alive, aren't you? What are you two going to do? Stay out here in the woods with all the dead guys?"

Castle looked at Kevin helplessly, and Kevin just shrugged. After a moment's deliberation, Kevin put his gun away and headed to the car. Castle grabbed the briefcase and followed suit.

"At least tell me your name," Castle said as he got in the car with Kevin.

"Hunt. Jackson Hunt."

"Sounds made up," Kevin remarked.

Hunt smirked. "It is." He put the car in reverse and they drove away.

* * *

Hunt drove them back to the city and rushed them into a small apartment. "We should be safe here for now."

Kevin glanced around the apartment, and his attention was immediately caught by the photos of Alexis spread out over the wall.

"Where did you get these?" Castle demanded.

"It's not important. Now what's important is that we get her back."

Kevin stepped in. "You need to tell us who hired you and why these people took Alexis."

Hunt frowned at him, ready to argue, when a cell phone rang on the dresser. Hunt glanced at Castle. "That's yours. You want to get it?"

"How's it mine? You shot mine."

"It's a clone," Hunt answered. "That's how I tracked you. Difference is, that one's secure. It's probably Beckett. You ought to let her know you're safe."

Kevin couldn't believe what he was hearing. How did this guy know about Beckett? How did he know about any of them?

"It's not Beckett," Castle answered, looking at he display. "It's a local number." He pressed the phone to his hear. "Alexis?" The expression on the writer's face made it clear that Alexis was not on the other end of the phone line. Wordlessly, he passed the phone to Hunt.

Kevin and Castle watched the man converse on the phone, answering in mostly monosyllables. Finally he hung up the phone, his face grim.

"This is about you?" Castle asked.

"Yeah."

"How?" Kevin pressed. "How is this about you?"

"Because she's my granddaughter."

All of the air had been sucked out of the room, and for the next several minutes, Kevin came to understand exactly how Hunt had inadvertently caused Alexis' abduction. Castle's face betrayed shock, disappointment, and pleasant surprise as Hunt described his life as an "intelligence asset." Kevin didn't blame him. It had to be beyond conflicting to almost lose a daughter in the same circumstances that revealed his father's identity.

"If this was about Alexis, why would he take the other girl?" Castle asked.

"Because if he just took Alexis it wouldn't be international news. He needed somebody high profile. He needed me to know. And now he's got me exactly where he wants me. If I don't show up tomorrow he will kill her."

"And if you do show up?" Kevin asked.

"He'll kill us both just for fun."

That was not an acceptable answer.

Castle moved closer to Hunt. "If you know me at all you know I'll do anything."

"The odds are against us."

Hunt's eyes landed on Kevin, and he nodded. "I'm all in. We have to bring her home."

"You know," Hunt began, pulling out a map, "our only advantage is Volkov doesn't know I've found him. He may not be prepared for a direct assault. If I can get inside his compound I can get Alexis out.

"A direct assault?" Castle asked.

"This is our best shot. Her best shot. But we need a tactical advantage. I can't do this alone."

Kevin moved closer to the schematics. "What do you need?"

Hunt's finger moved over the map. "Where she's being held, there's a conduit supplying it that runs through the old sewer system. You cut those cables, you cut their power. Lights, alarm, security video. That conduit's the key. What do you say? You ready to play spy?"

* * *

An hour later, Castle and Kevin were waiting at the safe house alone while Hunt was out getting some "supplies." Neither one of them had spoken since agreeing to help Hunt execute his plan. Kevin kept glancing up at the wall of Alexis' photos. They'd already faced certain death once that day, and Hunt's plan certainly came with it's own dangers. If this didn't work, if they didn't get her out alive—no. He couldn't think about that.

"You really do care about her?" Castle asked, breaking the silence.

Kevin sighed. "Why else would I be here?"

The writer was quiet for a moment. "I never did thank you for saving my life."

"Trying to save your life. Hunt saved both our asses."

"You knew you were outgunned."

"Come on, Castle. I know we've had our differences, but I'm not going to let some psychotic Frenchmen murder you."

Castle nodded. "Well, thank you."

"You're welcome."

"If we get her," Castle stopped. "_When_ we get her home, I'd like to revisit that conversation we had earlier."

Kevin didn't dare to hope that the writer meant what Kevin thought he meant.

"If Alexis is willing to give you another chance, well, so am I."

For a moment, Kevin was overcome with relief. "You have no idea how much that means to me."

"Don't celebrate yet," Castle said with a rueful smile. "We've still gotta make it through the night."

* * *

Author's Note: I never realized quite how challenging it would be to write parallel to canon. I hope you guys enjoyed it!

Next time: Paris, the final chapter.


	13. Thirteen

Wrecked

by:

A.K. Hunter

Part Thirteen

* * *

Alexis was losing hope.

She sat on the floor, curled against the bars of her cage as dehydration, starvation, and exhaustion took their toll. Her eyes were closed, but she wasn't sleeping. She couldn't sleep in a place like this. But that didn't mean she had the energy to move. Over and over in her mind, she replayed every moment of the last few months, every moment that had led to her a filthy cage in the middle of Paris. She could see it all as a clear sequence in her mind. Cause and effect.

If she hadn't gone with Sara to that lecture, she never would have been abducted.

If she and her dad had stayed close, if they'd kept up with their weekly movie night, she never would have been available to go to that lecture.

If she'd never gotten involved with Kevin, she and her dad would have remained close.

If she'd never gone looking for Kate at the precinct that night, none of this would have ever happened.

Funny how one simple choice can change everything.

A chill shuddered down her spine, and she wrapped her arms tighter around herself. More surprising than the sequence of events that had landed her in that cage was the regret she felt and the regret she lacked. Staring death in the face had a way of changing one's priorities. Rather than regretting getting involved with Kevin, she simply regretted not being honest about her feeling sooner. Maybe she still would have ended up in a cage, but at least then he'd know how she really felt. She wouldn't take those feelings to her grave.

A commotion outside her cage forced her eyes open, and Alexis' stomach sank as she saw her father being dragged into the room by those cruel men. He was blindfolded and looked like he'd been knocked around. "No," she whispered brokenly. How could they have gotten her father, too? "Dad?" she cried. "Daddy?"

"Alexis?" Her father ripped the blindfold off and looked around wildly. As soon as his gaze landed on her, his eyes narrowed with anger and despair, and he jerked out of their grip, running toward her.

"Dad!" A sob ripped through her chest. She didn't want him to see her like that, caged like an animal.

He crouched by her cage, wrapping his hands around the bars. Her frozen hands followed suit. She'd never been more upset to be separated by those cold, iron bars. "Alexis, are you okay?"

"What are you doing here? Did they kidnap you too?"

He looked around at the countless men that watched their interaction. "Uh, yeah. Trying to rescue you."

If she wasn't so severely dehydrated, she would have wept. He'd given his life to rescue her, and now they were both going to die. "You shouldn't be here," she said softly, her voice cracking.

His warm hands rested over hers. "Shh, it's okay. We're together. It's going to be okay." She saw him swallow with some difficulty as he took in her appearance up close. "You look good."

Alexis snorted despite herself.

"You are like your father, Mr. Castle," the leader of the group said. Alexis shuddered at the memory of that man casually describing her impending death. He'd stood right in front of her, making certain that she heard him, his cold, dead eyes watching her response. A gun clicked, and Alexis flinched back. Castle stood protectively in front of her. No, no, she wasn't ready—

"Getting involved where you don't belong. Did he really think I would not be prepared for an attack?"

"Dad, what's he talking about?" Alexis asked. Who was this "he" that they were talking about?

"Tell her," the leader sneered. "Go on. Tell her why she's here."

Confusion sputtered in her exhausted mind. She was here because of Sara. Wasn't she?

"She's of no use to you," her dad insisted. "Let her go."

"When a man doubles his wealth, why should he give half of it away?" He grinned at the two of them as a guard approached him, handing him a walkie-talkie and speaking quietly. "It's time to end this." He spoke into the walkie-talkie. "I know that you are here. I know that you are close. And I want you to know that I have your son. You have ten seconds to show yourself to my men our front. Give yourself up, or I will kill him."

"Dad—"

"It's okay, sweetie."

"Ten," the man counted with that same sick grin, "nine, eight, seven..." He stepped back, his gun raised.

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed.

"It's all right."

"Six, five, four..."

"No, no, no," she whimpered, shaking her head back and forth. She couldn't watch this. She couldn't watch them kill her father. She couldn't—

"Three—"

A voice echoed over the walkie-talkie. "You're not going to kill my son, Volkov."

"No? And why is that?"

"Because you'll be dead."

The walkie-talkie stared to beep, and Volkov turned to Castle in surprise.

"Get down!" her dad hollered.

Alexis collapsed on the bottom of her cage, shielding her head as an explosion rocked the building. A shrill note echoed in her ears, and when she lifted her head again, the world had dissolved into chaos. Her father pressed a metal object against the bars of her cage.

"Watch your eyes, sweetheart."

Like magic, the object melted the lock and the door swung open. Castle took her hand, pulling her along as they sprinted down a hallway. Her heart pounded in her ears, and the world narrowed around her as she struggled to put one foot in front of the other. Shots rang out around them, and her father led them down another corridor. An armed man came from out of nowhere, and her father sent him sprawling to the ground. They turned another corner and a pair of large doors loomed down the hallway in front of them, displaying the word "sortie." Exit. They were so closed.

Alexis stumbled, her abused body unable to keep up with the pace, and she hit the ground hard. Castle kneeled next to her, "You okay?" She opened her mouth to respond, and a gun clicking sent a chill down her spine. One of Volkov's men stood behind them, brandishing an assault rifle. Before she could even scream, shots echoed through the corridor, and the man slumped to the ground.

"Come on!" a voice called out behind them. Alexis' eyes widened, and she turned her head. Kevin Ryan stood in the doorway, holding a gun out in front of him.

"Kevin?" she gasped.

Without missing a beat, her father lifted her into his arms and began sprinting to the end of the hallway. "Hi, beautiful," Kevin answered, covering them from behind as they ran through the streets. Nobody tried to stop them, but they didn't stop running until they reached the steps of the U.S. Embassy.

"We need some medical attention here!" Kevin called as they were ushered in. Alexis watched him in shock as her father set her down on a gurney and a medical team swarmed around her, checking her bruises, her pulse, shining lights in her eyes and asking her questions she couldn't focus on as she was wheeled to the infirmary. It was then she noticed a dark stain on Kevin's side that grew with each quick step.

"Are you hurt?" she croaked.

His eyebrows knit together, and he looked down at himself, just as surprised as she was to see the dark, slowly spreading bloodstain. He lifted the edge of his shirt, revealing a deep wound that steadily oozed blood. Alexis' tired heart kicked into overtime. She pushed the team away. "He's been shot! You should be helping him!"

"It's fine," Kevin assured one of them, though he looked pale. "Just take care of her."

Castle rolled his eyes. "Would you two cut the lovey-dovey crap and let these people take care of you?"

The medical staff laughed and gave him a grateful smile as one of them led Kevin away to a separate gurney. Alexis watched as the medic lifted his shirt and murmured quietly to him. She heard the words "stitches" and "scar." Kevin nodded, but his eyes were locked on Alexis. He gave her a small smile.

A nurse drew the curtain between them. "I'm sorry, miss. But we've got to ask you some questions and perform a physical exam."

Alexis swallowed thickly and nodded. She turned to her father. "You'll stay?"

"There's nowhere I'd rather be."

* * *

Alexis jolted awake, her head spinning, unable to place exactly where she was. Her eyes darted around the dimly lit room, landing on the beds lining the walls and the IV in the back of her hand.

"Hey, you're okay." A gentle touch on the back of her other hand made her jump. Kevin sat in a chair next to her bed, concern plain in his eyes. Like a freight train, everything came rushing back to her. Her abduction, her escape attempt, the cage, her father freeing her. Kevin.

"You came for me," she whispered, tears filling her eyes. The IV fluids were working. "You and dad."

"Of course we did. There's no place we'd rather be." He squeezed her hand, and she couldn't stop herself from throwing her arms around him. She breathed in his scent, for the first time feeling like everything might be okay. He winced as she squeezed a little too hard. Belatedly, she remembered his wound.

"I'm so sorry!" She tried to pull away, but he held her tight.

"I'm fine, Alexis. It's just a graze. And there's no way I'm ready to let go."

After several long moments in each other's arms, she sat back. "I'm so sorry you were shot because of me—that you were ever in danger to save me. I feel so stupid. I—"

"It's alright," Kevin soothed. "None of this is your fault."

"What if you'd been badly hurt? What if you'd been killed and I never got a chance to tell you—" She stopped, a peculiar kind of stage fright taking over.

"Tell me what?"

"That I love you," she said quietly.

Kevin's eyes widened, and she word spilled nervously from her mouth. "I had so much time to think about things, about the last few months, and the only thing I regret is giving up on us so quickly and not being honest with you about how I feel. I love you, Kevin. And it's okay if you don't feel the same way yet, but I just had to—"

His lips cut her off, gently pressing against hers. She sank into the kiss, savoring the sensation of his mouth moving against hers. He broke away, pressing small kisses over her cheekbone. "I love you, too."

"You do?"

He nodded. "When I found out you were taken... I've never been so scared in my entire life."

Her fingertips pressed against the stubble on his jaw. "You don't have to be afraid anymore." Her lips founds his again, and in the half-darkness, one of them stitched up from a bullet wound, the other attached to an IV, they clumsily found a way to lay together in the twin-sized infirmary bed. Alexis rested her head against his chest, his steady heartbeat soothing her in a way that nothing else could. "You okay?" she asked. "For a second I thought you might have pulled your stitches open."

"It'd be worth it," he murmured, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. "You know, if Castle catches us like this, I might not make it back home."

She grinned. Her father had left to catch a few hours of sleep after Kevin assured him that he'd watch over Alexis. "I'm surprised he left you with me at all."

"I think the idea's growing on him. It helped that I tagged along here, I think."

"Mmm," Alexis sleepily agreed. "Nothing like getting shot to prove your love for someone."

"If you don't mind, next time I'll just give you flowers."

"That'd be a welcome change. One scar is more than enough."

He stroked her hair. "It was worth it."

Comfortable silence settled in. Alexis couldn't believe that, after all they'd been through, they'd finally found love and safety in an infirmary in Paris. She never could have predicted it. "So where do we go from here?" she asked.

"Well..." he said. "How about that date?"

She smiled, "I'd like that."

* * *

Author's Note: You gotta love a happy ending. I hope you've all enjoyed this fun little side project. I'd love to know what you think! Thanks so much for your support.

And for those who are sad to see this story reach its end, don't worry! There's a bunch more Rylexis goodness on the horizon.


	14. Epilogue

Wrecked

by:

A.K. Hunter

Epilogue

* * *

His wife was a vision in Chantilly lace. He watched her sway with her father on the dance floor, a radiant grin on her face. She'd been all smiles since the moment she'd said, "I do."

The last six years had gone by quickly—a montage of romantic bliss, the sometimes uncomfortable growth that came with serious commitment, and life's ups and downs. From their declaration of love in the infirmary in France, they'd taken things slow. He'd needed time to process his divorce and the realization that he wasn't quite the man he wanted to be. She needed time to heal from her abduction, to become comfortable in her own skin, and to be sure that committing to a man eleven years her senior was what she truly wanted. He took her on their first date six weeks after they returned to the U.S., but it wasn't until almost a year later that they made their relationship official.

Kevin had always been glad that they'd been smart enough to take their time. Everything had been so rushed, so urgent, the first time they were together. He'd lost himself in her, and if she hadn't had the sense to break things off, it would have been all too easy to fall into a codependent arrangement that would have hurt them both. Life's circumstances had made them fall in love, but in that first, precious year after Paris, Alexis became his best friend. He wouldn't give that up for anything.

"She looks beautiful," a feminine voice said.

Kevin glanced at Beckett briefly before returning his gaze to his wife, smiling softly. "I'm a lucky man."

"I think she's pretty lucky, too." The brunette nudged his elbow.

Alexis glanced over her father's shoulder, and her eyes met Kevin's. A light blush dusted across her cheekbones, and his heart swelled with joy. He was definitely the lucky one.

* * *

"Are you ready yet?"

"Not yet," Alexis called from the bathroom. "Be patient."

"You're seriously asking me to be patient on my wedding night?" Kevin sat on the edge of the bed in their honeymoon suite, toeing his shoes off and loosening his tie. The city lights beckoned to him from the floor-length window at one end of the room, but his attention was fixated on the closed bathroom door. Tomorrow they'd be off to tropical climates for a week, but they'd decided to stay local to enjoy their wedding night to the fullest.

"Just one minute."

"Careful, Alexis. I'll hold you to that."

Forty-eight seconds later, the bathroom door opened and Alexis stuck her head out. "Close your eyes."

"So demanding," he huffed, unable to keep the smile off his face. His eyes closed, and he listened closely to his wife's soft footsteps on the carpet.

"You can open them."

Alexis stood in front of him, biting her lip nervously as she let his eyes wash over her body. She was dressed in a light blue bra and panties with a white lace overlay. Sheer-white, lace-topped stockings were attached to a white lace garter belt with tiny, light blue bows on the front of each thigh. Her long hair curled over her shoulders and down her back, a white lily still pinned into it. Her engagement ring and wedding band sparkled at him from her slender fingers.

Kevin was speechless. Never in all of his life had he seen something so beautiful, so perfect. He couldn't believe this gorgeous woman was his.

"What do you think?" she asked when his silence had gone on too long.

He shook his head, the words still eluding him. "Come here."

As soon as Alexis was within reach he pulled her onto his lap, sealing his mouth over hers. His kiss was both possessive and grateful. Through some kind of sheer luck, this gorgeous woman had bound herself to him. He was never letting go.

Once they had to come up for air, Alexis grinned at him with swollen lips. "You like it, huh?"

Kevin brushed his lips over hers once more. "You're a goddess. _My_ goddess."

His wife's eyes dilated at the possession in his words, and her fingertips brushed over his jaw. "What are you going to do with me now that you have me?"

A smirk pulled at his lips. "Savor you."

Confusion flashed in Alexis' eyes, quickly replaced by surprise as he gripped her hips and flipped her onto her back, pressing her into the soft comforter. "Kevin!" she squeaked.

His name on her lips was the sweetest thing he'd ever heard. He vowed it hear it a hundred more times before the night was over. His hands skimmed up the outside of her thighs as his lips burned a trail from her navel down to her center. "This is definitely my new favorite look," he said,"but these panties are just going to get in the way. Don't you think?" He nibbled at her clit through the satiny material, groaning at the scent of her arousal and the silky-rough sensation of his tongue dragging over the satin and lace.

"Oh!" Alexis threw her head back, her fingers clutching at the bedding.

Kevin slipped a finger underneath the fabric, teasing her folds as he continued his assault. "You wanna take these off for me?"

His wife mumbled incoherently, shaking fingers slipping over the clasp on her garter belt. Kevin's clever tongue teased her bundle of nerves through the fabric and she whined, bucking her hips against his mouth.

"Too slow." His hands grasped the flimsy material and jerked it apart, primal satisfaction echoing through him at the ripping sound.

"Kevin!" She sat up, clearly displeased with him, and he shot her a Cheshire grin before he buried his face between her legs once more. His name slipped through her lips again, but with an entirely different tone, and he fought back a smirk as he lapped up her slick folds, alternately caressing her clit and penetrating her entrance.

Alexis writhed beneath him, her fingers jerking almost painfully at his hair as she shuddered. "Kevin. _Kevin_," she chanted.

Kevin stiffened his tongue as she bucked against his mouth, moaning and gasping for air. He caught her clit gently between his teeth, flicking his tongue over it until she shrieked her release. Her hips jerked against his face as she rode out her orgasm, and he took his sweet time lapping up her essence, lazily swiping his tongue through her folds until she was boneless beneath him.

Kevin pressed a kiss just below her belly button, then sat up so he could take a good look at her. A pretty blush had spread down her chest, and she watched him with glazed, blissed out eyes. "How was that?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"Not bad for round one," she puffed, a playful grin spreading across her face.

Burning lust grew to an inferno in his veins. "Then I hope you're ready for round two."

* * *

"Good morning, Mrs. Ryan."

Alexis lifted her heavy eyelids, a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth as her eyes landed on her husband's shirtless form. God, the man was almost too sexy. "Mrs. Castle-Ryan," she sleepily corrected him. Kevin's fingertips trailed up and down her spine, and she sank deeper into the thousand count sheets.

"We'll see."

Alexis lifted her head. "You don't like it?"

"You're mine," he said with a soft smile. "And I don't like to share."

His clever fingers found that patch of skin just above the cleft of her bottom and drew lingering circles there. Little embers stoked to life across her base.

"You're mine, too," she reminded him, nearly driven to distraction by the intoxicating sensation he was creating. "And Ryan may be my future, but Castle's just as much a part of me."

He palmed her ass, then slid his fingers up her spine to gently tug at her hair. When she arched her neck to offer her soft skin up to him, he dragged his lips up to her ear. "Beautiful and smart. How did I get so lucky?" Something hard and thick pressed against her lower back.

"It's a real mystery," she said with a smile, pleasure clear on her face as he nibbled at her earlobe. She reached behind her back, letting her fingertips search across her husband's abdomen before she found his hardened length. Her fingertips danced over the tip, teasing him through his boxers, and his grip on her hair tightened just a bit as he groaned.

"How does that feel?" she asked, continuing the gentle caress.

"Like you're playing with fire," he said through gritted teeth.

She sat up with a predatory grin. "I think it's my turn to savor you."

Alexis gently pushed him back until he was leaning against the headboard, pressing a kiss against his mouth. She tugged on his boxers, and he lifted his hips to help her along. Her fingertips ran down his length, and he gasped. Her hand circled his base, her fingers and thumb not quite meeting. Her pink tongue ran up the slit of his head, gathering up precome, before her hot mouth surrounded him.

"Fuck," he groaned out. His head sagged back, his eyes fluttered closed, his fingers fisted in her hair, holding tight, but letting her lead.

Her head moved up and down, her tongue leaving ripples of pleasure behind. Her hand stroked his base, the other dragging her nails down the soft skin below his hipbone. He reached the back of her throat, and she greedily swallowed him down.

"Alexis," he gasped.

Her eyes flicked up to his, and she took a moment to bask in feminine satisfaction at the pure desire in her husband's eyes. His grip on her hair tightening, almost to the point of pain, but he gently pulled her away from his length.

"Ride me," he demanded, his voice low and rough.

Alexis reached for the condoms on the nightstand, and Kevin captured her hand.

"No condoms. Let's give it a shot."

Her heart stopped, then picked up at a sprint. She knew what he was referring to. It was a discussion they'd had countless times since she'd admitted to wanting to start a family six months earlier. "Are you sure?"

There was nothing but love in his blue eyes. "I've never been more sure of anything."

A new, fragile feeling pressing against her breastbone, and Alexis kissed him with abandon as she straddled his lap, hovering over his length. She slowly sank downward, feeling the tip of his cock part her nether lips and nestle inside her. She broke away from his mouth as a soft moan slipped through her lips, and she moved upward on his shaft, almost breaking their connection before taking him a little deeper. Not once in their six years together had they ever been this close, skin to skin and connected in the most intimate way. They'd always been so careful, and Alexis reveled in the sensation of her slick muscles coiling tight against the velvety hard cock inside her.

Kevin's hand slid around the back of her neck, squeezing gently as he guided her lips back to his. He tasted each one of her moans, and she reveled in the low groan that vibrated in his chest, just underneath her fingertips.

She took it slow, allowing her sore muscles to adjust to the familiar intrusion. They'd been fierce and insatiable the previous night, and it would take some warming up to ease the dull ache in her core. She gently rocked on his lap, pleasure slowly consuming the discomfort, and a gasp ripped out of her throat when Kevin reached between them and began rubbing circles over her clit.

"Faster," he whispered before claiming her mouth again. He continued those maddening, teasing circles with one hand, the other gripping hard to her hip, guiding her rhythm as gentle rocking became a ferocious ride for pleasure. He rocked his hips in time with hers as she slid up and down his shaft, growing louder and tighter with each movement.

"Kevin," she whined, a familiar white heat coiling across her base. "Kevin, I'm going to—"

His hand moved away from her clit, and before she could even voice her complaint, her husband had lifted her body off of him, flipping her onto her stomach. In mere seconds, a pillow was placed under her hips before Kevin spread her legs wide, forcing her weight to rest on her splayed knees and forearms.

"What are— Oh!" He thrust into her so hard she felt it in her navel. Kevin's heat pressed against her back, and she felt his breath on the back of her neck. One lean forearm rested on the mattress next to her head, bearing up his torso as he caged her body with his. His free hand rested on top of hers, entwining their fingers.

"So perfect," he breathed into her ear.

Just like that, lust flooded her veins in full force, and Alexis moaned wildly as Kevin's sweat-slicked torso slid over her back, his rapid breaths tickled the back of her neck, his cock hitting her in just the right place over and over again. Energy coiled between her legs, and her voice jumped up several octaves.

Kevin let go of her hand, gripping her hip hard to stop her rocking motions. "Wait for me." He moved faster, holding her still as her caged orgasm tried to beat its way out of her body.

Pleasure loomed over her like a tidal wave. "Kevin," she keened. "Please."

"Wait," he ground out, and he reached between them, lightly flicking her clit, jarring her system with a tiny shock of pleasure/pain. It both kept the wave at bay and created tiny cracks in her control. Spots appeared in her vision, and a tingling began on the crown of her head and the tips of her toes, moving to meet in the middle.

"Kevin, I can't—"

"Alexis—" he ground out.

Her barely controlled lust boiled over when she felt him swell and harden impossibly further inside of her, and everything south of her navel began to quake. A shriek tore out of her throat when he slammed into that sweet spot inside of her.

"Kevin!"

The wave crashed into her, shattering her into a thousand pieces of electric sensation. Dimly, she was aware of Kevin gripping her hips hard enough to bruise her skin, brutally, repeatedly, impaling her on his length. She screeched as a second wave hit, and Kevin groaned out his release, his heat lashing deep inside her. Her arms and legs gave out, and she collapsed into the tangled bedsheets.

Kevin's arm wrapped around her, rolling them both on their sides as they came back down.

"You're amazing," he gasped.

"_We're_ amazing," she corrected, turning over and nuzzling into his neck.

"Think we just made a baby?"

"Could have." Her fingers stroked over his jawbone before she pressed a sweet kiss against his lips. "And if not, we'll just have to keep practicing."

Kevin grinned, and she relaxed into the sheets with a happy sigh.

"We should probably get ready soon," he said, dropping kisses over her neck. "Don't want to miss our flight."

"Mmm. A few more minutes." She snuggled closer to him, savoring his scent and heat of his bare skin against hers. How had she gotten so lucky?

"I love you," he whispered, and bright, exquisite happiness wrapped tight around her heart.

"I love you, too."

* * *

Author's Note: To all of you wonderful people who have been asking for an epilogue... I hope it was worth the wait. :) Happy New Year!


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